Healing
by paluga
Summary: AU Reid-Centric fic. When Reid was 5 he was kidnapped by a serial killer. Two years later, the BAU finds him, but he's broken and scared, with no parents capable of taking care of him. One of the members takes him and helps the child on his was to healing
1. Taken

**Hey guys! This is my first CM fanfic… not too sure how this will turn out, but this plot bunny got stuck in my head and wouldn't leave! And now, so my muse doesn't drive me insane, I'm doing something I decided I wasn't going to do because of the stress; have 2 multi-chapter fics going on at once. **

**Another thing is, I'm too sure if this deserves it's M-Rating, but I'm going ahead and giving it that anyways because of the subject matter and it might get a bit graphic later on. **

**This AU, so I've played with the character's ages and histories. Please don't get mad or flame me about that. It was purposeful. Another thing; I am not a profiler, so I'm getting all my facts from CM or I'm BSing a lot of the profile-y related things. **

**So here goes it! Enjoy!**

**Prologue: Taken**

Spencer Reid glanced up from his book to the clock on his bedside table. The red lights flipped from 7:59 to 8:00. Then it started beeping. Spencer was always a cautious child. He knew his mother _had _to take her medicine at exactly 8:00 PM every night, and while he also knew he attentive enough to know _exactly_ when that time was everyday, he still also made a point of setting an alarm, just in case he was so involved in his readings that he forgot to get up check.

He sighed and closed his collector's edition omnibus _Lord of the Rings_ series, and got up to repeat his twice daily battle with his mother. He didn't bother marking his place in the book, knowing he'd be able to remember.

He grabbed his mother's prescription bottle of Geodon and made his way to her room.

"Mommy?" the five year old child genius said.

His intelligence and having to take care of his mother made him a very mature child. He'd never met his father, who had died three months before he was born in an automobile accident, but nevertheless, was very good at caring for his mom, if it sometimes stressed him out.

"Oh! Spencer! Come in, come in!" said Diana Reid excitedly. She lay alone in a huge, messy bed with books scattered across it. "Mr. Frederickson and I were just discussing Chaucer's contributions to the literary world."

Spencer looked into the empty space that was 'Mr. Frederickson.' "Mm-hmm," he hummed to his mother. "But, uh, you need to take your medicine, so you have to tell Mr. Frederickson goodbye."

_Here it comes, _thought Spencer. "I'm not taking any of that _poison!_"

"Mommy, I watched them make it this time… I'm _sure _it's not poisoned."

"Well, I guess it's okay, then…" she said cautiously. Normally, it would have been so much harder to make her take it and eventually, the only way that would work, would be sneaking it in her food or drink. But since she'd been good about taking it (because Spencer was good at hounding her about it), it became much easier to get her to take her medicine.

She took a 60mg Geodon capsule and then lay down to go back to sleep. Her new dosage of medication really seemed to be doing better. She had less frequent attacks and the ones she did have weren't very serious.

"Goodnight, Mommy," said Spencer.

"Goodnight Spencer,"

Spencer turned to leave her room, but before he could exit his mother called him again.

"Spencer?"

"Yes, mommy?"

"Be careful tonight. I have a bad feeling. Why don't you sleep in here tonight?"

As mature as he was, Spencer was still a five year old and desperately wanted to sleep with his mommy for the night. He nodded and sucked his thumb, a habit they'd never really been able to break him of, and then went to go get ready for bed.

Spencer Reid entered his bedroom to put on his PJs, and got dressed in his favorite long sleeved Star Wars pajamas, and brushed his teeth with his Mr. Spock shaped tooth-brush, before remembering to lock the front door.

He left the bathroom and padded silently on bare-feet down the front hall, through the living room, and to the door. He flipped the lock on the doorknob, and then raised himself up on his tippy-toes to reach the chain lock and the other lock above the nod.

He was starting to turn to go back to his room, when he felt a hand clasp over his mouth, and one grip around his torso, pulling him back against a person far bigger than he. His eyes bugged and he clawed at the hand on his mouth, while trying to scream and kicking his legs futilely.

Well, until he felt the hand on his torso leave for a moment, the go upwards, towards his neck and held a knife there. He immediately stopped his struggles.

"Now," he heard a deep male voice say, "are you going to be good and do what I say, or am I going to have to go hurt mommy?"

He took his hand away to let the boy answer.

Spencer choked on his fear and started crying, helplessly.

"What?" asked the voice, pressing the knife a bit closer to the small boy's thought and drawing a small line of blood.

"Y-yes," he stuttered.

"Yes what?"

"Y-Yes, I'll d-do a-as you s-say."

"Smart boy," said the voice. "Now move," he said, guiding the child forwards, then unlocking the door and forcing him through the door.

It was dark out, and no one was there to see the man bind the small child's hands and feet, then gag and blindfold him, or force him into the back of a van, but nevertheless, it was happening.

Spencer Matthew Reid had never liked the dark, but now he had a reason for it.

**Like it? Hate it? Needs improvement? **

**Tell me what you think! I'm not certain about this fic.  
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**This was a very short chapter… the rest of the chapters will be longer and take place a bit in the future. **

**Please Review! I just need some feedback on this one. **

**Thanks for reading! Buh-Bye!**

~The Nymph of the River


	2. Two Years Later

**I'm back! Thank you to all whom favorited/alerted me! I didn't expect feedback this soon, so thanks!**

**I got a review asking me to continue, so I will!**

**Here it is! **

**Oh! And I just remembered that I forgot to add this at the last chapter**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own CM or the characters (though I wouldn't say no to Reid). I'm not making any money off of this.

**Two Years Later**

The young boy who was once Spencer Reid curled up in his corner of the basement. There were chains around his wrists and ankles, restraining his movement enough to where he could crawl forward a couple feet from the wall but that was it.

He pulled himself into an even tighter ball, trying to retain some of his body warmth. The basement was cold and he wasn't allowed clothes. What did he need them for? But by now he was used to the cold.

No, the cold was the least of his problems he reminded himself as he heard footsteps from upstairs, reminding the boy of _his _presence. But as he listened, Spencer realized, he wasn't coming towards the stairwell that led down to him. He let out a momentary sigh of relief, but didn't allow himself too much hope, as that could change any second.

He sat in silence for an interminable amount of time, before he heard something coming from outside. Were those sirens?

"Fuck!" Spencer heard _him _yell, and then run towards the stairs.

Spencer whimpered as the key turned in the lock and the door swung open.

"No," he moaned quietly, not wanting another beating any time soon.

_He_ rushed over to Spencer and undid the chains attaching him to the back wall and pulled the small child to his feet by his hair.

"So beautiful," _he_ said in a harsh whisper as he leaned down to briefly smell Spencer's hair, before rushing the boy out of the basement and upstairs.

Spencer was having trouble walking, from lack of practice and stumbled his way upstairs much more quickly than he was ready for. Eventually, _he _got tired of Spencer's clumsy pace and hauled the naked child upstairs fireman style.

Calls of "FBI!" were heard from the front door before it was kicked in. Seeing that there was no way out, _he _pulled Spencer off his shoulder and held him in front of him with a knife placed to the boy's throat.

Spencer whimpered. "Master, please," he whined, knowing it would do no good.

"Shut up!" said Master, and gave his hair a sharp yank, to accentuate the point and reveal more of his pale throat.

"Don't move!" yelled Spencer's 'master' to the FBI agents in his house. "Don't move, or I swear to God I'll kill him!"

"Easy man," said the tall black man that kicked the door in. "Easy, you don't have to hurt anyone. It's just between us. The kid has nothing to do with it." He raised his hands slightly, to look less threatening and eased himself towards the man.

"Stop! Stop or I will cut his pretty little throat!" He pressed the knife harder against Spencer's skin. He whimpered when he felt the small trickle of blood.

"Ok. Alright," said the man.

"Put down your gun!" The FBI agent hesitated. "Put it down!"

He complied. By this point, the man had attracted the rest of the team. They watched the scene before them, trying to figure out the best way to get the child away from their UnSub, without hurting anyone.

"Sir," started Hotch, "please, put the knife down and back away from the child."

"Put. Your. Guns. DOWN!" yelled the UnSub slowly getting louder with each word.

"Okay," said Hotch, as he placed his FBI issue gun on the ground and put his hands in the air and continued to inch towards the UnSub.

"Mr. Harrison, put the knife down and back away from the child."

"No!" he yelled, but was starting to look unsure. Hotch continued to slowly make his way to the UnSub, looking as unthreatening a possible.

He was finally in range of the UnSub and reached out to grab his had holding the knife to the child's neck. He moved quickly and was able to take the man by surprise. He wrenched the hand away from the child and tackled the UnSub to keep him away.

The knife flew across the room as the UnSub let go of it when he fell and Hotch turned him his stomach to cuff his hands and read him his rights.

Meanwhile, Derek Morgan ran over to the boy that was curled up in a ball across the room. He squatted carefully down next to him.

"Somebody, get me a blanket or something to cover him in," he commanded the team, though trying not to be too loud, because it was obvious the poor child was terrified of him.

"Here you go," said Prentiss, as she held out a light weight blanket. "Will this work?"

"Yeah, it'll be fine," Morgan said taking the blanket and draping it carefully over the quivering body of the boy. He flinched when it came in contact with his slight body and started shaking.

"Hey, hey there. It's alright," said Morgan soothingly. "My name is Derek Morgan. I'm with the FBI. We're going to help you, alright?"

"No," the child moaned more than said. "Nooo," and began to struggle with the blanket, trying to get it off. "Not allowed. Can't have this," he looked ready to go into a full panic attack.

"Hey, it's perfectly OK for you to have this blanket, alright kid?" Derek said, trying to get through to the shaking child.

"Not allowed… too dirty for it," he continued to say and trying to weakly throw the blanket off of him.

"Kid. Kid!" Morgan said, starting to get worried. "It's OK. It's _fine."_ He grabbed the boy's shoulders firmly with out thinking to get him to look into his eye, before realizing what a mistake that was.

"No! No! I'm sorry! Please don't hurt me!" he started to yell.

Derek jerked his hands back immediately, cursing himself for his idiocy. _Stupid! Who grabs an obvious traumatized and nervous kid like that? Idiot!_ He berated himself, as the kid continued to scream.

Morgan stood up and ran a hand over his head nervously.

"Prentiss?"

"Yeah, Morgan?"

"Could try and calm him down a bit-?" started Derek, but Emily cut him off.

"Me? I know nothing about children! You're far more qualified for this. I have no idea where to even start," she nervously babbled, until Morgan interrupted her.

"Emily. He's obviously been very hurt by a man and is terrified of all men at the moment. He needs a woman to bring him to his senses? Alright?"

"Ok…" she said, and uncomfortably made her way over to the child.

She got near him and dropped to the floor. "Hey? My name is Emily Prentiss. I'm with the FBI. We'd like to help you. Can you tell me your name please?"

The little boy peeked up at her with big brown eyes that broke Emily's heart. He'd quieted down and looked deep in thought as he bit his lip, like he was trying to decide rather to trust her with his name or not.

He murmured something quietly, that Emily couldn't hear.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you. Can you repeat that a bit louder for me, sweetie?"

"Spe-sser Reid," he mumbled, a bit louder, but still wouldn't meet her eyes.

"Spencer Reid?" she asked. He nodded. "That's a wonderful name," she said with a smile. "Now, do you want the blanket back?" she asked, seeing that he'd finally managed to get rid of the thing.

"I-I'm n-not allowed," said Spencer, and Emily had to strain her eyes to hear.

"Why not?" Spencer shrugged his shoulders. "Well, who told you, you can't have a blanket?"

"Master," he said.

"Is he the man we just took out of here?" He nodded.

"Well, he's not here anymore, so why don't we just let it be our little secret. I can keep a secret."

He looked thoughtful for a moment, then met her eyes with his heat shattering puppy-dog like look. "Cross your heart?"

"Cross my heart," said Emily, drawing an X over her heart with her finger.

The little boy nodded and accepted the blanket.

"How old are you Spencer?"

"Seven, ma'am."

"No need to start calling me ma'am. Now let's get you outside to the EMTs so they can make sure you're alright, OK?"

"Do we have to?"

"Yes, we do."

"Alright then," he said shakily and tried to stand up. He stumbled and had trouble finding his footing. Eventually, Prentiss got her arm around him and managed to lead him outside, with Derek following closely behind them.

She took him up to an ambulance where they tried to place him on a bed. He look up at Prentiss with terror written on his face.

"Please no. I don't want to be here."

"I'm sorry Spencer, you need to be looked at."

The EMTs were crowding around him, and managed to get him in the truck. Morgan tried to hop in with them, but one the EMT's shook his head and said there wasn't enough room.

Morgan didn't waste time with arguing, and hopped in one of the FBI SUVs to follow them to the hospital.

Once on the road, Morgan pulled out his phone and called Garcia.

_"Hello, you've reached the Tech Goddess of Eternal Wisdom, speak and be amazed."_

"Hey baby-girl. Could you look someone up for me?"

_"You know it, my chocolate muffin. Everything alright?" she asked, catching onto his tone._

"Maybe. There was a kid with Harrison and he was pretty upset. Can you look up the name 'Spencer Reid."

_"Sure… can I have some more information on him? Spencer Reid's a fairly common name."_

"He would have gone missing a while ago. He's about seven years old. Brown hair. Brown eyes. Looks young for his age, but at the time he went missing, he might not have."

_"Thank you! I'll call you back when I get something. Garcia out!_" She said before hanging up.

Morgan sped the rest of the was to the hospital and rushed into the proper waiting room for Spencer. He didn't know why, but he felt attached to the kid who didn't look like he could be older than 5.

Morgan and Emily were hanging out at the hospital while the rest of the team got their stuff together to return to Quantico.

Morgan's phone started vibrating.

He answered it immediately. "Talk to me."

_"Hey my chocolate God. I found some information on that poor kid you're looking into."_

"Really? What is it?"

_ "God, the poor thing's had a hard life! His dad died a couple months before he was born. He took care of his mother who was diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic until he five, because he was kidnapped. Pretty soon after he was taken, his mom stopped taking her medication and the neighbor realized something was up and she was committed to a sanitarium, but because of her mental status and the fact that Spencer didn't have much contact with other people regularly, not being in school yet, everyone thought her fears that he was gone were a part of her disease. It took awhile to look into his investigation when they finally realized she was right and by then, it was almost too late to find anything."_

"God. Poor kid."

_"What's going to happen him when he leaves the hospital? He's got no place to go. No parents."_

"Don't worry baby girl. I'll take him in myself if I have to."

A doctor walked through the door right then. "Spencer Reid?"

"Gotta go baby," said Morgan, closing his phone and ending his call. Prentiss and he stood up. "Yes?"

"Are you family?"

"No, but we're the closest thing at the moment," answered Derek honestly.

The doctor nodded started informing them on what happened. "Physically, there's not much wrong with him. We had to sedate him when he was on his way because of he was having a panic attack and couldn't calm down. He's still out. He was dehydrated and his stomach was almost empty. Just enough to keep him alive. There are lacerations across his back and chest. Some needed stitching but for the most part their superficial and just need to be cleaned and have salve put on them a couple times a day so they heal with no infection. Some bruising that will heal on their own with time. There's evidence that some of his bone were broken in the past, but they were taken care of and healed nicely. And, um.-"

"Yes," prompted Morgan, seeing that the doctor didn't want to go into this one.

"There were obvious signs of sexual abuse due to the amount of tearing we found along his anal passage," she finished in one breath.

"Fuck," said Morgan, though he already knew it deep down, from the way he reacted to touch and was naked when they found him.

"We provided him with clothes and he should be ready to go when he wakes up. Who will he be staying with when it's time to go?"

"Me," said Derek, surprising himself, "until we can get in contact with some family, he'll be staying under my protective custody."

**Yes, crappy ending, I know, but this chapter is the longest thing I've ever written! Woot Woot!**

**And two updates in one day! Ya'll better love me!**

**Oh, and I don't have a beta so if you'd like to beta for me, send me a PM. Please?**

**See that button that should be somewhere in this vicinity? It was "Review this chapter," If you'd be so kind as to click that button and tell him how you feel about this, feel free! **


	3. Panic

**OMG! Thank you all sooooo much for reviewing and favoriting and alerting! I did not expect this much recatioin after just 2 chapters! I love ya'll!**

**Thank you my wonderful beta Fuzzball 457!  
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Morgan walked towards the room where Spencer was staying. The doctor had informed him that he'd like Spencer to stay overnight for observation, just in case something did happen. He also wanted him to talk to an on-site therapist and informed Derek that once they got back to Virginia, he'd need to find him a good therapist, for the recent trauma he'd been through.

Emily had gone back to join the other team members at the station, so she could give Derek some time with Spencer, to get to know one another and make Spencer more

comfortable around Derek.

He knocked lightly on the frame of the open door and looked in at Spencer. "Hey, can we come in?"

He bit his lower lip, looking a bit nervous, before shyly nodding.

Derek looked down at the small kid and really took in his appearance for the first time.

He was small. Really small. Looked more like a five-year-old than a seven. That could be accounted for by lack of food over the last two years though. He had longish brown hair, that looked like it had been cut a couple times. His hair would have been far longer had Harrison not cut it at all in the past two years. He had big brown hazel eyes that could break your heart and a very pretty and innocent face.

"Hi Spencer," said Morgan gently kneeling by the bed, to look less intimidating. "Do you

remember me?"

Spencer put his thumb in his mouth and nodded.

"Good. That's good. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?" Spencer bit his lip again, in a way that Morgan guessed meant he was thinking. He finally shook his head, indicating it was okay for Morgan to ask him questions.

"Do you have any relatives other than your mother you could stay with?" Morgan knew the answer would be no, but he had to ask anyways.

Again, he shook his little head no.

"Family friends, neighbors, godparents…?"

No.

"Would you mind coming to live with me in Virginia until we find someone to take you in? Or maybe permanently?" Derek knew it was a lot to throw on the kid all at once, but it needed to be asked.

Spencer looked up with fear filled brown eyes and took his thumb out of his mouth.

"Mommy?" he whimpered.

"No, son. I'm sorry, but your mom can't take care of you properly." Spencer's eyes filled with tears and Derek would have given anything to be able to do something to erase the sadness. "Before you leave, we can visit her. How's that sound?"

"Sound's good," he whispered, keeping his gaze averted to the ground. "So, I'm gonna live with you now?" he said, just as quietly.

"If you want."

"A-are you g-gonna h-h-hurt m-me, sir?" he asked almost reluctantly.

Derek felt his heart break for the 100th time that day. He closed his eyes and breathed for second, to try and compose himself.

"No, Spencer. I won't hurt you."

"Not even when I deserve it?"

"You could never do _anything_ that could make me hurt you. I never will, because no matter what you do, you don't deserve to be hurt."

Spencer started crying. Morgan's eyes got wide and he tried to go over the last bit of his part of the conversation and figure out what he said. He couldn't think of anything, so he stuck with trying to calm the poor thing down.

"Hey, hey. What's the matter buddy?"

"I-I d-d-do," he choked out between sobs.

"You do what?"

"D-d-deserve it," he wailed.

Morgan felt a need to go and comfort the obviously hurt child. He placed a hand on Spencer's shoulder and started to tell him that it was going to be okay, and that he hadn't done anything wrong, but he never got the chance.

"Don't touch me! Please! Please! I'm sorry! Don't touch me! I don't want it, I don't want it!" Morgan snatched his hand away from the child, even more lost now, as Spencer curled in on himself and kept yelling incoherently.

"Hey, kid. It's OK. I'm not going to hurt you! I promise I'm not!"

"No! No! Please!" he continued to cry. He was tossing and trying to get off the bed. He was pulling cords off of himself and screaming, lost in a memory. Derek was clueless as to what to do to stop it.

He eventually reached over and banged on the nurse call button and yelled for a doctor. Between the noise Spencer was making and Derek's yelling, the doctor and couple nurses ran into the room and immediately took in what was happening.

By that time, Spencer had thrown himself off the hospital bed and was curled up tightly in a ball in the corner with his arms guarding his head. He wasn't yelling anymore, but he was still crying and mumbling denials.

The doctor sent one of the female nurses over there to try and calm him down, but having someone that close to him just made him close up even more.

The doctor sighed when he realized he was beyond being to be calmed with words, and filled a syringe with a bit of sedative He walked over and injected it into Spencer as quickly and painlessly as possible. It took effect almost immediately.

He picked up the quivering child bridal style and laid him back on the bed. He rechecked his vitals and after declaring that everything was okay and he just needed to rest, left the room with the nurses and a very reluctant Morgan.


	4. Reunion

**A/N: Thanks for all the feedback! I love it! Um, sorry about how long this took. As I explained to a couple of you, I fell down a flight of stairs, and was in the hospital for a couple days. :/ I hope this chapter was worth the wait though!**

And everyone, make sure to thank Fuzzball457 (my beta), cause without her, this wouldn't be posted. My doc uploader was messed up, and she helped me get around that. (Loud chorus of "Thank you Fuzzball" is heard)

**Reunions**

"Morgan."

Derek Morgan looked up from where he was sitting in the hospital waiting room up to the stoic face of his Unit Chief.

"Yeah Hotch?"

"I heard you're thinking about taking that kid we saved in."

"Yeah, I am. What about it?" Morgan asked defensively.

"You realize the commitment you're making?"

"Yes, Hotch."

"Can I ask you why?" Hotch said, his expression not changing. "We've worked with children like him before, and you've never done this for any of them. What's so special about this one?"

"Spencer," said Morgan.

"What?"

"That's his name. The kid. His name is Spencer."

"Ok then, why is _Spencer _so special?" amended Hotch.

"I honestly don't know. There's something about him that makes me want to take care of him. He's so young and vulnerable and has been through so much. I couldn't forgive myself if he got put in the system and something happened to him. I want to look over him myself."

"And you realize what taking him in means, Derek? It won't be like a pet dog, or even most children. He'll need therapy and extra attention and medication. And with our job, taking care of a small, needy child will be extremely difficult. What happens when we go out of town?"

Derek rubbed his forehead, to get rid of the oncoming headache he felt. "I know, Hotch," he said sharply. "I know. And, if it comes to it, I am prepared to leave the BAU for little boy. For now, I'd like to get him more comfortable around the team and I, and maybe have Garcia watch him when we're away. And, when there's absolutely no other choice, I'm sure my mother would _love _to have a grandson to spoil while we're working a case."

"Ok. I just wanted to make sure you knew what you were doing. I think you'll do just fine with him, Derek. Any little boy would be lucky to have you as a father." He patted Morgan's shoulder as he walked off and gave one of his rare smiles.

Father. Derek decided he liked the sound of that and couldn't wipe the smile off his face at the words.

The next day Spencer was to be released, just after the doctor ran some tests to make sure he was OK to go.

Derek was standing in the room with Spencer waiting for the doctor to make his morning rounds.

Spencer was a very quiet child, and so for the most part, Spencer and Morgan spent the couple minutes they were together in silence.

Soon enough though, a slight knock at the door warned them someone was coming in and Derek jumped up to greet the doctor, but was surprised when a woman walked in.

"Hi, my name is Doctor Hayden. I'm taking over Spencer's case for Dr. Smith. We thought he might be more comfortable this way," she added quietly. Derek nodded his understanding.

"Hi, Spencer," she said gently as she walked over to the machines Spencer was hooked up to. "I'm just going to check some stuff out and make sure everything in you is working in tip-top shape. Is that alright?" She asked, putting the medicinal terms in ways the child would understand.

Spencer glanced over at Morgan and met his eyes nervously. He bit his bottom lip, before reluctantly nodding to the green-eyed doctor.

"Excellent." She walked around checking all the machines around Spencer and asking permission before touching him at all.

"Okay, Spencer. Good news! Everything seems to be just fine and as soon Agent Morgan over here fills out some paperwork you are free to go. Just let me go get the papers real quick."

She exited the room and shut the door behind her.

"That wasn't so bad, now was it?"

Spencer shook his head slowly, as if not sure what he was supposed to say.

"Here it is!" she said coming back in with a few things for Derek to fill out. "I realize a lot of this information is unknown, but Spencer is a special case. When you get back to Quantico though, I suggest getting in contact with some of his old doctors if you can find out who they are and finding a local physician to see him on a regular basis. We updated him on his vaccinations that he missed during the two years he was gone and put that on his shot record. Again, we didn't have the rest of his records, and were not sure if he missed any shots before then, which is very likely given his mother's mental status."

"Will do, doc," agreed Morgan as he signed the paperwork and handed the clipboard it was on to Doctor Hayden. She took it and signed at the bottom.

"I've also prescribed a very small dose of Celexa. It's an SSRI, which should help him feel less sad and worried. With some people it's very effective.

"Also, I've got therapists in the Quantico area and types of PTSD therapy. Cognitive therapy has been proved to be the most effective with PTSD patients. It helps to understand what happened to you and focuses on replacing emotions such as guilt with more positive emotions.

"The other one I'd suggest is Exposure therapy, which focuses on helping the patient realize that there's less to fear from memories. It is based on the idea that people learn to fear thoughts, feelings, and situations that remind them of a past traumatic event.

"I think the last kind of therapy is not for Spencer at all, so I won't even suggest it. It involves lots of movement and physical touch.

"Another thing you might want to look into is family therapy and/or brief psychodynamic psychotherapy. That'll help with identifying triggers, coping with intense feelings, raising your awareness to thoughts and feelings, and raising self-esteem. I also, would not go into group therapy because of Spencer's age."

"Thanks, Doc. We'll consider it," responded Morgan.

"Here, that's a lot of information," she said, handing him a pamphlet on PTSD treatments, with the things she'd suggested highlighted, and a list of good therapists around the Quantico area, with instructions to visit them in their offices and pick whoever Spencer seems the most comfortable with. She left the room for a second to give the papers to the people who needed them and get a wheelchair for Spencer.

"Ok Spencer," said Morgan once she left, "ready to break out of the place?" Spencer nodded.

Dr. Hayden came back with the wheelchair quickly and helped Spencer into it.

They reached Derek's car and Spencer climbed into the right-hand side of the backseat - as far away from the driver's seat as possible.

"Ready to go?" asked Morgan turning around in his seat to see Spencer, who had his knees pulled up to his chest and was hugging them to himself.

Spencer nodded. "Where are we going?" he asked so quietly Morgan had to strain his ears to be able to hear him.

"Well, I was thinking we go and visit your mother then go from there. We'll probably get a room in a hotel, and then leave tomorrow. The rest of the team is already gone, so we'll either fly back or drive. That okay?"

"We're really visiting Mommy?" asked Spencer. His eyes lit up and almost looked ready to smile.

"Yeah, bud. We're visiting your mom." Spencer actually smiled a bit at that.

The drive to the sanitarium she was in (a place called 'Bennington' which was just outside of Vegas) took about fifteen minutes. They finally got there and Derek helped Spencer out of the car. He told him to stay close to him. He would have held his hand, but didn't think Spencer would like that.

They walked up to the front desk and got the attention of the woman there.

"We're here to visit a Diana Reid? Can we see her?"

"Are you family?" she asked, sounding bored.

"Yes," said Derek with no hesitation.

She gave him a once over, clearly noting his skin tone. "_You're _family?" She sounded skeptical.

Derek shook his head. "Not me. Him," he said, gesturing to Spencer.

"What's his name?"

Derek ground his teeth together, really not liking this woman. "Spencer Reid."

"I'll see if she knows anyone and ask Dr. Norman about it if she doesn't."

The woman got up and walked through a couple doors into a common room for some of the patients and found Diana sitting by a window alone.

She walked over to her and gently touched her shoulder to get her attention. "Diana, there's a person here to see you. He says he's family. Do you know him?"

"What's his name?" asked Diana.

"He's with an older man, but he says his name is Spencer Reid, does that mean anything to you?"

Diana jumped up. "Spencer. Spencer Reid. Are you sure? Bring him here! Bring me my baby!" She started trying to run for the door to get Spencer, but a couple orderlies stopped her and told her to wait a second. She left to go get Spencer and Derek.

Derek was standing impatiently waiting for the secretary, and Spencer just looked nervous at the prospect of seeing his mom again.

Suddenly, the door leading to the rest of the facility was opened and the woman stepped through. "Follow me."

They followed her through a couple rooms until they arrived at one with windows around one side and lots of people.

A woman in the back of the room with short blonde hair looked over at them and recognized Spencer. She broke away from the orderlies and ran to her son.

She stopped in and knelt down in front of him, so they were eye level.

"Spencer. It's really you," she murmured quietly, before enveloping him in a huge hug. He stiffened and backed out of the hug quickly, looking terrified. Diana just seemed hurt and confused.

"Spencer? What's wrong?"

Derek decided to go ahead and intervene there. "Ma'am, could I talk to for a second? My name is Derek Morgan, and I'll be watching over Spencer here for a while."

She nodded and Derek took her aside after asking one of the nurses to keep an eye on him for second and talked quietly so Spencer couldn't overhear.

"Mrs. Reid, Spencer's been through quite a bit in the past few years and is suffering from some pretty bad trauma. He was, um, sexually assaulted by the man that took him, and is very sensitive to touch at the moment. You have to be very careful around him."

Diana Reid started cry. "My poor baby. My baby! I told them! I told them what happened and no one listened! And now look! My baby!" She was sobbing and yelling in grief.

She caught the attention of a few nurses, who ran over to sedate her, to keep her calm.

"Wait! Give 'er a second!" Derek told them. "Let her calm down, so she can talk to her son!"

The nurses nodded, but looked ready to take charge if things got out of control.

"Mrs. Reid, Diana, you need to calm down," Derek told her. "If you want to be able to speak with Spencer you need to breathe and calm yourself or else you'll be sedated and won't be able to see him."

That did it. She was able to calm herself enough to go speak to Spencer.

This time she approached slowly and didn't touch him when she approached. "Spencer?" He looked up into his mother's blue eyes. "Do you want to come to my room? We can talk, and, if you want, I'll read to you."

He put his thumb in his mouth and nodded frantically. "Come on, then," she said standing. "Can I hold your hand?" she asked. Spencer looked thoughtful before he nodded and slipped his own small hand into his mother's as she led Spencer and Morgan to her room. Morgan wanted to give them some privacy, but didn't feel comfortable letting Spencer out of his sight.

They went into a small room with a bed, a dresser, a chair, and window, but was otherwise empty. Spencer and his mother climbed onto the bed and Diana talked to him for a while, before asking if he wanted her to read to him. He nodded and she pulled out a book of 15th Century poetry.

Partway through the 3rd poem, Spencer yawned and leaned into his mother and let her hold him. She absolutely beamed at this and continued reading to him until he fell asleep and was content to just hold her baby boy.

She glanced up at the man taking care of her son, and smiled when she saw him asleep with his head resting on the back of the chair and feet stretched in front of him.

Eventually, she drifted off to sleep with her son in her arms and had the best night of sleep she'd had in long time.

**E/N: Thanks for reading! Any suggestions, comments, questions, etc would be wonderful! Most suggestions I will take into consideration… I don't have a 'die-hard this is exactly how I'm gonna write this' plan in my head, so if you want to see something, tell me. **

**I might've gone a bit overboard with all the medical treatment and therapy explanations… I really did try and not make it too long and boring! Thanks again! Review? I will gives you cookies?**


	5. Meet the Family

**Warning: This chapter gets a tad graphic. If you don't want to read it, the section is written in italics and putting it there was simply for emphasis of Spencer's condition. If you don't want to read it, you don't have to, but it will help understand him a bit further. **

**Meet the Family**

Morgan woke up in the morning, wondering where he was and why his back hurt so much. He stretched and his back and neck popped all the way up his spine.

Looking around the room, he realized he had fallen asleep in Diana Reid's room at Bennington's. Diana and her son were cuddled up in the bed, Spencer sleeping peacefully and Diana gazing at her son with love in her eyes. When Derek woke up, she looked over at him and gave a small smile, then put a single finger to her mouth to tell him to be silent.

Derek loved that Spencer seemed so happy with his mother. He loved it that Spencer was happy at all, and it killed him that he knew he had to take him away. Maybe he could move Diana to a hospital closer to them in the Quantico or the DC area…

His thoughts were cut off as Spencer let out a tiny a whimper and Diana reached down to her son and smoothed his hair away from his face soothingly. She murmured, "Shh, it's okay, baby. It's gonna be okay." Spencer settled down and fully woke up.

His eyes opened and darted around the room in confusion until they settled on Diana.

"Mom?" he whispered, only vaguely remembering how he got here. Wasn't he still in that basement? Wait, no, he had been rescued. It all came back and he slowly remembered Derek Morgan and the hospital as well as coming to visit his mom.

"Yeah sweetie, it's me." Spencer smiled and leaned into his mom. She made him feel safe, despite what had happened to him.

Morgan decided to let Spencer stay until after breakfast. Then they would get on the road.

Diana led them down to a little cafeteria, much like the ones you would see at a school, and got a plate of food for her and Spencer. Morgan wasn't hungry and decided he'd eat later. Plus, he didn't feel quite comfortable eating the food that was for the patients.

Spencer and Diana finished eating, and Morgan decided that it was time to leave.

"Ok, Diana, I think Spencer and I need to be leaving now. It's been great meeting you and I'll bring Spencer down to visit as often as possible."

Diana looked up at him for a moment. "Alright. I trust you," she told Derek, "but I swear to God if you lay one hand on my boy, you will wish you'd never been born, ya hear?" she finished, her voice becoming threatening. Morgan believed her threat.

"I'd never hurt Spencer. I promise," Moran told her solemnly.

"You'd better not."

Morgan and Spencer said their goodbyes and left the hospital. They came to Morgan's car and Spencer got in the backseat again. Derek had decided that they were going to drive home, because he was pretty sure that Spencer wouldn't be able to handle the stress of going through the security of an airport or the proximity of the people on the plane itself.

Spencer hopped in the backseat again and hugged his knees to himself. They got on the road and Spencer finally said something.

"Are we going back to your home? In Virginia?" Morgan smiled, glad Spencer had said _something _to him.

"Actually, Spencer, I was thinking we could go up to Chicago, where my mama lives and you can meet her and my sisters. If that's alright with you of course," answered Morgan. Derek had decided that Spencer was going to need to meet his mother if he was going to have to stay with her sometimes and he was sure his mama would want to meet Spencer, and now that he had the time off, he might as well use it.

He still needed to call her and let her know they were coming, but that could wait until later. Maybe once Spencer fell asleep.

Soon enough, noon rolled by, and Derek decided it was a good time to stop for some food.

"Are you hungry, Spencer?" he asked.

Spencer said nothing, but Derek imagined he had nodded or shrugged his shoulders.

"Spencer? I can't hear you nod, ya know? Are you hungry?"

"Um…" he said quietly.

"Do you want me to stop for food?" Derek pressed.

"If you want to," he whispered. Derek sighed and decided that was enough for now. He couldn't expect Spencer to become much better in just a couple days. But they'd work on his decision making later. He had the habit of doing whatever anyone else wanted.

"Alright then," said Derek pulling up to a McDonald's, "this okay with you?"

"Yeah…" answered Spencer. Derek decided to just drive through and then pull over and eat in the car.

"What do you want?" asked Derek. "They've got chicken nuggets, hamburgers, or cheeseburgers."

"I don't care," he whispered again, "you choose."

"Well, I don't know what you like," said Morgan turning to look at Spencer who was currently trying to become part of his seat. Morgan sighed again and ordered him a Happy Meal with chicken nuggets.

They pulled over in the parking lot to eat and ate in relative silence, until Spencer started crying.

"Spencer? What's the matter?"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!" Derek looked around and noticed that Spencer had spilt his drink.

"Oh, Spencer. It's okay. I know you didn't mean to," Morgan told the boy and got out of the car to help him. He opened the door on Spencer's side and knelt next to him. He picked up the cup and swept the ice into it before setting in a cup holder and laying some napkins on the ground.

"There, all better. See, it's not a bit deal," Morgan told him.

Spencer looked up at him with big tear filled hazel eyes. "Really?" he asked.

"Really, kid."

"But what about my punishment? I was bad. You have to punish me, so I can learn," he said, sounding confused.

"Did you mean to make a mess? Did you purposely throw your cup on the ground?" asked Morgan.

"No! Of course not!" said Spencer.

"Then it was an accident and wasn't your fault."

"I don't understand," said Spencer quietly.

"I know you don't," Morgan said, "but you will someday."

"Thank you," said Spencer, so quietly that Morgan almost didn't hear it.

"You're welcome, kid."

They finished their meal in silence and got back on the road. Spencer fell asleep not ten minutes out and Derek decided to call his mama and let her know what was going on.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and hit 7, to speed dial his mom. His mom answered on the second ring. It wasn't very often her baby called her.

"_Hello?"_ said Fran Morgan.

"Hey, mama. It's me," said Derek.

"_Derek! How are you? When are you coming home?"_

"Actually, mama, I'm on my way from Vegas right now, if that's okay."

"_That's fine. But why? You're not in trouble are you? Did you gamble away all your money down there?"_

"No mama! Everything's fine. Well, mostly fine. See, we were a real hard case down there. A man had been killing kids with brown hair and eyes. Well, we managed to find him, but when we did catch him, he had a kid with him. The kid looked like the rest of the victims, actually, I guess the rest of the victims looked like him, but anyways, the man had been holding this kid for 2 years and, um, sexually abusing him."

"_Oh my God! Bless that poor boy's little heart! But Derek, what does that have to do with coming home?" _

"I was getting there, mama. Well, after getting him to the hospital, I found out he had no parents that could actually take care of him, and he's only seven mama, so I decided to, uh, take him in and I wanted to take him home to visit you. See, I might need to watch him when we're all away on a case. If you're willing to. This is ok, right? If you don't want us to come by, it's ok."

"_And miss the only chance to meet my first grandbaby? Derek Morga,n you are crazy! Bring that poor soul up here and we'll give him some good ol' Morgan family TLC." _

"Grandson?"

"_Well, duh. If he's a part of your family, he's a part of mine. I swear, for such a smart boy Derek, you can be extremely dense sometimes…"_

"Whatever mama," said Derek with a smile. "We'll be there tomorrow. Oh! And mama, please realize that Spencer is extremely upset and hurt and can't be make sure that you and Sara and Des understand that. Don't press him for answers he's not ready to give and overwhelm him. And please, please don't touch him without his permission. I don't mean this to be pushy, but he's in a very fragile state and I don't want anything to happen to him."

"_I got it, Derek. I love you."_

"I love you, too"

"_Bye"_

"Bye." Derek smiled to himself. She'd reacted exactly the way he thought she would.

Around three o'clock Spencer began to wake up and they traveled in silence together for a couple more hours. After a while, Derek decided to pull into a fairly nice motel and stay the night there before getting back on the road.

Spencer and Derek got a room with two twin beds and headed up there. They were sitting in the room watching TV when Derek decided it was time to get to sleep. He went to change into his pajamas and realized the Spencer didn't have any changes of clothes. Feeling incredibly stupid, he decided that tomorrow, he, Des and Sara would take the little boy shopping and for tonight and tomorrow he'd just have to wear the clothes the hospital gave while he was staying there; a tee-shirt and pair of cotton shorts.

Derek put Spencer in the bed away from the door and went to get the lights. He shut them off and heard Spencer whimper when he did so.

"Spencer? Are you OK?" he asked worriedly and flipped the lights back on.

"Scared of the dark," he said quietly with tears in his eyes.

"Oh, that's okay, Spencer. Here, let me turn on the bathroom light. That work with you?" he asked, turning around to see the small child nod while sucking his thumb. Morgan turned on the bathroom light and turned off the overhead light, then headed to his bed next to Spencer's.

Derek fell asleep rather quickly, but Spencer was having much more trouble. He eventually did manage to find sleep though…

_The door creaks open slowly. I cower closer into the wall, not wanting to be touched. Please don't! Please don't! _

_My chains are completely slack, pushing myself as far into the stone wall as I can. Maybe it was useless and he could still get to me, but maybe it would just take a bit longer for him to get to me. Maybe he would see I didn't want it. Maybe…_

"_Spencer." His voice is harsh and deep. Always. I flinched at the word. I hate it when he says my name. It's _my _name. Hasn't he taken enough away from me? Does he have to make me hate my name? I already hate everything else about myself. _

_I look up at him from behind my hair. He loves my long hair. So naturally I hate it. _

"_Yes?" I whisper quietly. Not acknowledging that he addressed me would be bad. Don't want to be bad. _

"_Here," he commands, pointing right in front of him. _

_I crawl forwards as much as my chains allow, stopping a couple feet in front of him._

_He closes the distance between us and runs a hand through my hair. "Good boy."_

_I smile. Good means no punishment. He would be gentle. I nuzzle into his hand. He likes that. If he's happy, it hurt less. He would be kinder to me. _

_He knotted his hand in my hair and cleared his throat. I know what he wants, and reach forwards with chained hands to undo his jeans. Then, I remove his underwear, and take him into my mouth. _

_He finally comes and smiles at me. "Very good," he says and patting my head. Then flips me over._

_No, but… I thought I did good! Why is doing this anyways?_

"_No… please," I whisper. "No… I don't want to." _

"_Don't be selfish, Spencer! Not everything's about what you want!" I start crying. Is he right? It makes sense. But still… I don't want it! It hurts! _

_He thrusts an un-lubed finger in me, and I scream. It hurts! Why is doing it this way? He said I was good!_

"_Spencer, had you not been so selfish, this would have been easier for you." He finally thrusts himself into me. Ow! It hurts! I scream. It hurts! _

_Spencer. Spencer! SPENCER!_

... Spencer jerked awake and sat up sharply in bed, eyes glancing quickly around the room. Finally, his eyes rest on Morgan, and he remembered what was going on.

_Not him,_ Spencer told himself. _Derek hasn't hurt me yet._ _Maybe he won't… _on that thought, Spencer threw himself into Derek's arms and started sobbing.

"Sh," said Derek, "there, there. It was just a nightmare." Slowly, Spencer began to calm down, but was still clinging to Derek. "Are you okay, now? Do you need anything?" asked Morgan.

Spencer shook his head, which was buried into Morgan's chest, but then pushed himself away, to arm's length. "Safe?" he asked poking Morgan's chest.

"Yes, safe." Morgan answered.

"Cross your heart?" asked Spencer.

"Cross my heart," replied Derek solemnly, realizing what a giant leap Spencer had just taken.

Spencer squeezed himself tightly against Derek's chest again and muttered, "Stay."

"Alright, Spencer," said Derek, not knowing how good an idea it was, but Spencer seemed to feel safer with him around, so who was he to question how he would react?

He laid down on Spencer's bed, with the brown-haired child's head resting on his chest and they both fell into a deep, dreamless sleep for the rest of the night.

The next morning they woke up and ate breakfast, with Spencer clinging to Morgan like his life depended on it.

After eating, they got back in the car and this time Spencer took the passenger seat.

They drove for a few more hours and arrived at the Morgan's house around noon. They got out of the car and Derek, with Spencer hugging his right arm, went up to ring the bell.

"Derek?" whispered Spencer, before Derek got the chance to ring the bell.

"Yeah, Spencer?"

"What if they don't like me?" he said, even quieter than before. Derek knelt down beside the small child.

"Spencer, look at me," when he complied, Derek continued, "they _will _like you. My mama is so excited about meeting you and my sisters will think you are the greatest thing to ever set foot on the planet. Alright?"

Spencer nodded. "Are you ready now?" Spencer nodded again, but put his thumb in his mouth, a sure sign he was nervous. Derek rang the doorbell and Fran Morgan opened the door.

Spencer edged himself behind Morgan and tried to hide from Fran. She knelt down next to him.

"You must be Spencer. My name is Fran, but you can call me Gramma if you'd prefer." Derek rolled his eyes and smiled at his mother. _You can call me Gramma if you prefer_. There wasn't anything she'd like more than being called 'Gramma' by someone.

Spencer nodded and continued sucking on his thumb.

"Well, come on in you two! We've got two guest bedrooms. One for each of ya." She led them through the house and into the first bedroom, where Derek set down his go-bag and then Fran took them to Spencer's room.

"Do you have a bag, Spencer?" Spencer shook his head no, and Fran frowned disapprovingly up at Derek.

"I was planning on taking him shopping today," Derek defended himself.

"You'd better have been! Now come on, I've got a nice lunch made up for us." Fran led the boys to the kitchen and they sat around the table and ate a nice homemade lunch. Fran kept trying to get Spencer to take more, but he wasn't hungry and eventually she gave up.

Soon enough, the doorbell rang again, and this time Sara and Desiree Morgan came in and cooed when they saw Spencer with Derek. Spencer tried to hide behind Derek again, and buried his head into Derek's side.

"Ready to go shopping now?" asked Fran while Sara and Des looked confused.

"Shopping?" asked Sara.

"Spencer needs some new clothes, and the poor boy can't have Derek dressing him, so…" she left the rest of his sentence unsaid.

And so, that was how Derek ended up piled into a car with his mother, two sisters, and Spencer on his way to the mall.

**Really, super nervous about this chapter! *blush* Um… please, please review and tell me what you think! **

**Gah… hope this turns out ok. *Crosses fingers***


	6. Shopping

**I'm sorry this took so long to get out! **

**Shopping**

Fran Morgan's SUV pulled up to the giant mall closest to her house and everyone started to pile out of the vehicle. Spencer was looking up at the giant building with an expression of fear and awe on his face.

"It's gigantic," he whispered to Derek, his eyes still glued to the building in front of him.

"You ever seen a mall, Kid?" Derek asked with a chuckle.

Spencer shook his head. Derek blinked. He had been kidding, but it seemed that Spencer really had never seen a mall before. But, then again, not only had he grown up with a schizophrenic mother on the bad side of Vegas, but he was also kidnapped and had left the house where he was held in two years, so it did make sense that there were a lot of things he'd missed out on.

"Derek?" asked Spencer nervously

"Yeah, Kid?" said Derek, catching onto the kid's tone.

"There are _a lot _of people here," he whispered, sounding for all the world like the little kid he was.

"It's okay buddy. They can't hurt you," Derek reassured the small child.

"But they _could_," said Spencer, trying to emphasize the difference in what he and Derek had just said. Derek understood. He'd felt this way after Carl Buford, though not to such an extent.

"Not with me here," responded Morgan, sounding confident. Spencer bit his lip in thought, then nodded and started sucking his thumb. He looked at Morgan and lifted his arm that wasn't otherwise occupied, indicating he wanted to be picked up.

Morgan reached down and lifted Spencer, who weighed _far _too little, and held him on him hip. Spencer wrapped his legs and arm around Derek and buried his face in Derek's neck.

"Aww," cooed Sarah and Des from where Fran and they had paused and were watching Spencer and Derek.

Derek felt Spencer's face heat in a blush and he shot a glare towards his sisters.

They walked through the Macy's entrance in the mall and went to the children's section to start finding clothes.

Des looked at Spencer. "How old are you, Spencer?" she asked, wanting to ask him not Derek, so he could feel included.

He looked up at her and took his thumb out of his mouth. "What's today?" he asked quietly. Des frowned a bit, not really sure what that had to do with anything, but decided to give him an answer anyways.

"August 29, 2011," Des told him, not sure how much of the date he wanted.

"Seven years, ten months, and twenty days old," he answered. Des blinked in surprise at the answer.

"Um… alright. So, about seven years." She looked over at Fran and directed the next comment towards her. "Most seven year olds are about a size 7, so we'll start there?"

"Sure," responded Mrs. Morgan. She glanced at a couple of the racks and pulled out a random top and bottom that were size sevens and told Derek to go see if they fit or not.

Derek carried Spencer to the dressing room and stood him up on a bench.

"Ready?" asked Derek with a grin. He unfolded the shirt his mama had handing him to make Spencer try on. It looked huge! But maybe with kids it was harder to tell sizes?

_Whatever_, he decided. _I'll just take my mama's advice and have him try this on. _

"Here, kid," said Derek, reaching for Spencer's shirt. "Let's try this on."

Spencer bit his lip at Derek's words and cautiously nodded. He wasn't looking forwards to having to take off his clothes in front of someone. Even if it was Derek. Nonetheless, he still removed his shirt and wrapped one arm around his torso and put the thumb of the other one in his mouth.

Derek frowned when he noticed Spencer's behavior, but decided that it had to do with not having a shirt on. He noticed Spencer's torso which was littered in bruises and scars. Morgan ground his teeth in anger. _How can anyone hurt a child like that? Especially one as sweet as my Spencer. _Derek paused at that thought. 'My Spencer.' He decided he liked the way it sounded.

He put the shirt his mom had picked out for Spencer on the small boy.

…and it absolutely swallowed him! _This _was how big most seven year olds are?

"I think we might need a smaller size," said Derek, scratching his head. Spencer giggled at the older man when he stated the obvious.

"Well, let's try on the pants and see how big they are on you," said Derek. Spencer's face paled and he glanced at the khaki pants picked out.

"No. No need to do that…" Spencer picked up the pants and held them at his waist. "See? Too big. No need to put them on." _No need to take these ones off, _he secretly thought. His shirt was one thing, but Spencer did not want to take off his pants. Too many memories.

Derek glanced at Spencer and tried to think of the best way out of this. He understood exactly what Spencer was doing by not trying on the pants, but he really did need to get a little bit more used to stuff like this. He couldn't go through life without changing clothes.

"How about I turn around while you change pants and when you're ready, we'll show the girls how big they are on you, and see if they can guess closer to your size. That sound okay?"

Spencer nodded slowly and waited for Derek to turn around and close his eyes before hurriedly stripping of his pants and replacing them with new ones.

"I'm done," he said quietly.

Derek smiled at the sight of the child holding up his pants with his hands and a shirt that fell almost to his knees. He put Spencer back on the floor and took one of his hands, while Spencer struggled to hold his pants up with the other.

"Mama?" said Derek when they got near the exit of the dressing room. His mother and sisters came to see Spencer. "I think they might be a bit big."

"Oh my!" said Mrs. Morgan. "I think you're right. Here, let's go a few sizes smaller."

They found that size fives fit the best on him. _He probably hasn't grown much since he was taken. Malnourishment and all that, _Derek reasoned.

Derek tried to take him into the dressing room as little as possible, knowing how uncomfortable in made Spencer.

Eventually, after hours of shopping, a trillion bags, and a huge bite out of Derek's saving, they were on their way home.

Spencer was nodding off in the car, but Derek did his best to keep him awake, so he would be able to fall asleep at night.

They got home, ate dinner, and decided it was time for Spencer to go to bed. He went into the guest room set aside for him and fell asleep quickly. Sarah and Des stayed for a bit, before deciding it was time for them to go.

After they left, Derek retired for the night. It'd been a long day and no doubt there would be longer to come. He too fell asleep rather quickly.

"…Derek. _Derek,"_

Morgan woke up to someone calling his name softly. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and looked up at Spencer standing in his doorway in his new footie-pajamas and holding a teddy-bear.

"Hey, Kid. You okay?" he asked, sitting up in bed slightly.

"I had a nightmare," whispered Spencer so quietly that Derek barely heard.

Derek threw the covers back on his bed and patted the spot next to him. Spencer scurried up to the bed and crawled in next to Derek. He cuddled up against Derek's side and buried his head in the older man's chest.

"Do you want to talk about it?" asked Derek. He felt Spencer's head shake, but then pause.

Spencer looked up at Derek nervously, biting his lip like he did when he was thinking and glanced down at Derek. "D-do y-you want m-me t-t-to," Spencer started stuttering. "I-I mean, sh-should I-I y-you know," he said, touching Derek's pants. "This?"

Derek grabbed Spencer's hands in his own. "I will _never _ask you to do something like that. Ever. Remember that Spencer. I love you, but not in that way."

Spencer looked confused. "I-I don't understand."

"You will someday," Derek assured him.

"How do you know? I don't think I'll ever understand," Spencer said skeptically.

"I know it feels that way Spencer, but trust me. Wanna know something?" he said.

Spencer nodded, now sucking his thumb.

"When I was in highschool, there was a man I knew," Derek started. He was telling this seven year child something he'd only ever trusted a few people with, but it felt right. "He seemed nice at first, but after awhile, it turned out he wasn't. He did things that no adult should _ever _do to anyone. The same thing that was done to you, just a bit less severe. Understand?" asked Derek, making sure Spencer was following.

Spencer nodded again.

"Well, I remember feeling the same way you do now. I thought things would never get better and my life would never be normal, but they did. It all stopped, but I never told anyone about it and it ate and ate at me, until finally I told some of the people I was closest to. It was hard at first but it really helped.

"Trust me Spencer. Things will get better. You just have to let me help you. Do you think you can do that?"

Spencer looked at Derek. "I-I'm not sure. I can try."


	7. Last Morning

**Sorry it's taking so long to update. I have Carpel Tunnel and have been really busy. I'll try and make this one longer. **

**And thanks for all the reviews and everything! They make my day!**

**A/N 2: Sorry about the issue with the spaces. :/ FanFic did that with my other stories, too, but I was able to fix it on that. It should be better now. **

Spencer woke up somewhere warm with big arms wrapped around him. But not like Sir's. Those were bad arms. They weren't warm and comforting. Derek's arms were. Derek's arms hadn't hurt him yet.

He knew he shouldn't just trust him like this. His mind was screaming that eventually everyone would hurt him in one way or another, but holding onto that distrust took _so _much energy. He'd trust Derek to keep him safe from everything. As long as he was with the agent, nothing could ever hurt him.

He held onto that thought. Spencer's instincts said Derek could be trusted, and Spencer decided to listen to them. He knew that if he couldn't trust just one person in the world, then he would break. He didn't know why he thought that; just something deep in his gut told him that he could go on being fearful of the world, just so long as he held onto one thing. He dreaded what would happen, though, if that one thing was torn from him.

And so, he lay in bed with Derek, clinging to him like his life depended on it. It might as well have.

Derek woke up suddenly that morning. He looked around and tried to figure out what it was that woke him up like that. Then he looked down at the tense little boy snuggled up next to him, and realized that Spencer must have woken up and started clinging to him.

"Hey, buddy," said Derek, running a gentle hand through Spencer's hair. "Sleep good?" he asked.

"Well," mumbled Spencer into Derek's arm.

"Well what?" asked Derek, confused.

"You said 'good.' 'Well' is the proper grammar since you're asking me how I was sleeping and sleeping is a verb, so you need an adverb rather than an adjective."

Morgan blinked. "Ya sure you're only seven, kid?" he asked.

Spencer looked confused. "I-I think so. I-I mean, what other age could I be? Unless my perceptions of time were way-"

"Woah, kid," said Morgan, interrupting what was sure to be a nice spiel from Spencer. "I was just kiddin'"

"Oooh," Spencer responded, in sudden understanding.

"Ready to get up?"

"Mm-hmm," said the little boy, nodding into Derek's arm.

"Well, come on then." Derek helped Spencer get off the bed and put him on the ground.

"Mmm," says Morgan, when he smelled his mother's cooking wafting up the stairs. "I smell bacon. Let's go!"

Spencer smiled softly at his guardian's childlike behavior and lifted his arms to tell him he wanted to be carried.

"Alright, kid," said Morgan leaning down to pick the seven year old up. "Here we go."

Derek shifted Spencer over to one hip and used the arm not holding Spencer to open the door, and then nudged it closed again with his hip on the way out.

Spencer and Derek made their way downstairs where they found Mrs. Morgan in the kitchen flipping pancakes while a skillet of bacon cooked next to her.

"Hey, Mama," said Derek, walking up behind his mother. "Mmm, smells good."

Fran Morgan gasped when she heard her son sneak up behind her and quickly turned, brandishing a spatula. "Derek Morgan! I swear to God, if you don't learn how to not sneak up on people and scare the livin' daylights outta them-"

Morgan chuckled. "Love ya too, Mama."

"Now go! Shoo!" says Mama Morgan, gesturing for the profiler holding a small boy to back off. "Go sit down at the table and stay there!"

"Yes Ma'am!" said Morgan with a mock salute to his mother. He bent down to settle Spencer down into one of the four chairs around his mama's circular table, but Spencer clung tightly to Derek, so the profiler ended up lifting to boy and holding him on his lap while Spencer rested his head on Derek's shoulder.

Fran brought plates and silverware over to the table and laid Spencer a plastic plate right next to Derek's glass one.

"Here sweetie," she said. "What do ya want to eat?" She had the plates of prepared food sitting out on the table. "We've got chocolate-chip pancakes, regular pancakes, eggs, bacon, and sausage."

Spencer looked up at Morgan with a question in his eyes.

"It's up you buddy," he said, able to guess the question that Spencer was trying to ask.

Spencer bit his lip in thought and looked at Mrs. Morgan with pleading eyes.

"Well, I'll just have to take a guess then," she said. "Don't eat something if you don't like it, ya hear?"

Spencer nodded, while Mrs. Morgan put a chocolate-chip pancake, some eggs, a piece of sausage, and a couple strips of bacon.

Spencer's eyes went wide as saucers when he saw all the food on his plate. _That's a lot of food! Am I supposed to eat now?_ He glanced up and Mrs. Morgan and Derek who were both looking at him encouragingly.

He picked up his fork to start at his scrambled eggs, then hesitated. _What if they take it away? I don't think Derek would but would Gramma? Well, if she tried to Derek would stop her, _he concluded.

Spencer settled further back into Derek and clung more tightly to him, before taking a bite of the scrambled eggs. Spencer tried not to make a face, but they weren't very good. They tasted funny. _Gramma said to say if I didn't like something._

Spencer looked up, considering doing as she asked, but hesitated. _I don't want to seem unappreciative. Maybe it's an acquired taste._

And so deciding, Spencer picked up his fork and took another reluctant bite of eggs, making a face as they went down.

"Spencer?" asked Mrs. Morgan.

"Yes ma'am?" said Spencer almost inaudibly.

"If you don't like eggs, you don't have to eat them. We're just trying to find out what you do and don't like. You probably haven't tried very many foods in the past, so it's okay to experiment and see what's good. Alright?" she asked.

Spencer bit his lip and nodded. _Maybe when it's just Derek and I, I can do that. I don't think I could say something like that to anyone else. _

"Good," said Fran with a smile. Spencer didn't touch his eggs through the rest of breakfast, but he ate the rest of it, and seemed to enjoy it.

Derek had trouble taking his eyes off Spencer while he ate. He noticed the way he finished each dish before moving onto the next one and felt his heart lift at the way Spencer's eyes lit up when he took a bite of pancake.

When they were finally finished eating, Derek announced that he and Spencer should probably head home; toQuantico.

"Our stuff is already packed-up and we just need to hop in the car and go! I'd like to leave early so we can get there earlier. That okay with you, Spencer?" said Derek, making sure that Spencer knew he had a say in what they were doing.

Spencer nodded his assent and Derek clapped him on the back. "Ok, then. That's that. I'll go grab our stuff and we go."

"I'll help," said Mrs. Morgan.

When they were out of Spencer's earshot, Fran turned to Derek. "You better treat that boy right. I like him and he needs someone."

"Of course, Mama! I can't imagine anyone hurting him, let alone me!" he said, vehemently.

"I know ya do, son. I saw the way you were lookin' at him eat. You love him and he adores you, just don't abuse that."

"I wouldn't dare," Morgan told her solemnly, and she nodded. They finished grabbing the luggage, and loading up Derek's car. Spencer and Derek were on their way toQuanticoin the next thirty minutes.

**Finished! Finally! Sorry it took so long, again!**


	8. Remember to Let it Into Your Heart

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Criminal Minds nor do I get any profit off of writing these stories

**Title comes from the song "Hey Jude" by the Beatles, which I most certainly do not own. :/ **

Spencer sat in the passenger seat of Morgan's car, swinging his feet back and forth, hitting the leather seat with every kick.

"Kid? Are you bored?" asked Morgan glancing at Spencer from the corner of his eye, then focusing back at the road.

Spencer shrugged his shoulders and murmured something.

"Sorry?" said Morgan. "I didn't catch that. Can you speak up, please Spencer?"

"A little," repeated Spencer a bit louder, but still mumbling.

"Well, we'll stop for lunch up in a little bit, then you can get out and stretch legs. Why don't you turn the radio on until then? What music do you like?"

"I don't know," said Spencer quietly.

Derek smiled slightly and said, "Why don't we figure that out then?" He reached over and pressed the radio on and told Spencer to hit the 'seek' button until he found something he liked.

He flipped to a hip-hip/R n' B station first and looked scandalized when he finally got the lyrics and immediately flipped stations. The next one was a Top 40 Pop station. He listened for a second before declaring it 'too weird and nonsensical' before changing the station. A metal station was too loud, country too sad, and oldies were too boring. Eventually, he landed on a station that happened to be playing "Hey Jude" by the Beatles and smiled. "This one," he said.

Derek grinned. Not usually his style of music, but no one could complain about the Beatles. _At least his taste in music is pretty good. _

Derek started half singing along with the lyrics and drumming lightly on the steering wheel.

"Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better."

Spencer giggled softly after that line.

"What?" asked Derek, glancing at the child.

"Nothing really…" he said, getting shy again.

"What? You can tell me. What's so funny?"

"Well," said Spencer, drawing out the word. "Not really _funny_, just an- observation, I saw."

"Oh?" said Derek, marveling at the maturity of Spencer's speech. _What seven year old uses words like 'observation?' I'll have to get him tested when we get back to __Quantico__, though I suppose I'd be doing that anyway…_

"You're kinda like 'Jude' in the song. You know, 'take a sad song and make it better'"

"And you're a sad song?" asked Morgan.

Spencer nodded, blushing bright red. If Morgan wasn't driving, he'd have grabbed Spencer right then and there and hugged him until he couldn't hug anymore. Even driving, he had half a mind to pull over so he could just hold the little boy.

Instead he just reached over and wrapped a large hand around Spencer's small one a squeezed gently once.

Spencer kept his gaze down, hiding his blush behind his hair, but Derek saw a small smile creep over his face.

They drove in silence for awhile, until they reached a small town aroundnoon. Derek pulled towards a fast-food place and looked over at Spencer.

"Do you want to go in, or just go to the drive-through?" asked Morgan.

Spencer shrugged, but started kicking his feet back and forth restlessly again.

Morgan sighed. "Come on. Let's go in. You look like you could use a stretch."

Morgan helped Spencer out of his seatbelt and walked around the car to help him out. Spencer hooked an arm around one of Derek's and leaned his weight over on the older man, while sucking his thumb with the other. Morgan smiled at how cute he was, and threw an arm around him, holding him tight against him.

They walked together inside the restaurant smelling of greasy fries and salt. Derek knew he was supposed to turn his nose up at such smells and say 'ew, grease is so bad for a person. And the smell is awful!' but honestly, he loved the smell of fries and burgers and the taste of a good ol' grease packed burger.

"Do you want chicken nuggets or a hamburger, Spencer?" asked Morgan.

Spencer bit his lip and shrugged. Derek decided to go with chicken nuggets; it would be awhile until he figured out exactly how Spencer liked his hamburgers and what foods he liked, and right now wasn't the time to experiment. Chicken nuggets were the safer option.

As they walked further into the restaurant, Spencer clung even more tightly to Derek's arm.

Derek grinned comfortingly (or what he hoped was comforting) down at Spencer and held him tighter.

They got to the register and after the cashier said her rehearsed 'may I take your order line', Derek ordered a burger meal for himself and a Chicken Nuggets Kids Meal for Spencer.

Spencer looked up at Derek before they paid, and lifted his arms, to tell him he wanted to be carried.

Derek obliged and the soft 'aww' from the cashier made Spencer bury his face in Derek's neck.

"He's so cute!" the teenager (probably sixteen or seventeen, thought Derek) all but squealed. "Are you a friend of his mother's? Or is that too personal?"

"No, he's my son," said Derek. At the girl's slightly confused look, he elaborated. "Adopted son."

She formed a silent "Ohh," of understanding. "Well," she said, shaking herself back into business mode, "here's your receipt."

"Thank you," he said, taking the thin piece of paper and two cups that were laid out. He got a Coke for himself and lemonade for Spencer. Didn't want him having _too much _caffeine or sugar. Well, the lemonade was probably really sugary, but couldn't be as bad as the sodas. _No caffeine's a plus anyways. With luck, he'll hate coffee when he's older, or at least drink it sugarless. _

They went to a booth in the back, away from people, figuring it would make Spencer more comfortable. He made to put Spencer on one side, and got up to sit on the other, but Spencer grabbed his arm and looked up at him with big brown eyes and shook his head.

"Do you want me to sit next to you?" asked Morgan.

Spencer nodded his head vigorously, so Morgan did as he asked.

They sat and enjoyed their simple meal, before it was time to go. Derek looked over at the play area, where he heard the delighted shrieks of people, and wished that Spencer could run around like that and play, that he could be with kids his own age, but that wasn't a possibility.

Derek made up his mind to find a park near where he lived to take Spencer to some day.

They loaded back up in the car, and Spencer fell straight to sleep. Derek chuckled and made it back toVirginiawithout having to make another stop.

_Finally!_ _Home sweet home!_ he thought as he pulled up in front of his simple one story house.

**There! A fast update! Thanks for all the reviews! I really do love them! And the amount of favorites/alerts floored me!**

**I couldn't resist the part about the coffee ;)**

**I hope the 'Hey Jude' part wasn't too cheesy. It felt that way. **


	9. Penopoly

**For ****an ****anon,**** who ****hinted ****a ****fast ****update ****would ****be ****nice;**

**Oh! ****And ****by ****the ****way ****the ****amount ****of ****reviews ****ya'll ****are ****leavin' ****is ****amazin'! ****That ****even ****made ****my ****Southern**** accent ****come ****out ****when ****I ****said ****it ****out ****loud ****to ****my**** friend**** a ****bit ****ago,****(she ****made ****fun ****of ****me ****for ****it).****:D**

**Ok,**** so**** here's ****the ****chapter ****(oh, ****and ****it ****will**** get ****pretty ****angsty ****here ****in ****a ****couple ****of ****chapters. ****So, ****don't ****get ****_too _****accustomed ****to ****the ****extreme ****fluff ****of ****these**** last ****few ****chappies.**** Actually, ****being ****that ****I ****can ****usually ****_only _****write**** angst, ****I'm ****shocked**** these ****chapters ****have ****been ****so ****fluffy****:/)**

…**even ****just**** saying ****'let's ****go'**** got ****rambly. ****I ****should**** probably ****sleep.****Oh ****well.****Here's ****the ****next ****chapter!**

Derek carried a sleeping Spencer inside his house. Spencer roused a bit when Derek first picked him up, but a quick reassurance from Derek had him relaxing against the older man again and falling back to sleep.

Derek smiled and brought him into the guest bedroom (which was now Spencer's), drew back the covers, and laid Spencer on the bed. He bent down and took off the shoes and socks (un-matching - Spencer insisted) and debated rather or not he should get him into his pajamas.

Derek decided to just put a pair next to him so he could change if he needed to. Having a man wake him up by changing his clothes would be too much for Spencer to handle, Derek suspected, even if it was just him.

Morgan threw the sheets and blanket over Spencer before tucking him in and leaving the room.

He got up, went outside, and unloaded the bags from his car. Then, he went to the master bedroom, deciding to forego a shower, since it was so late and just throw on some PJ's and hit the sack.

He laid down in a pair of boxer shorts and a white wife-beater, turned out the lights, and fell into a dreamless sleep.

"AHHH!"

He woke to a blood curdling scream three hours later.

"Spencer!" he yelled, jumping out of bed and running through the halls like Hell itself was at his heels.

He opened the door, and saw Spencer sitting up in bed, clutching the sheets and covered in a thin sheen of sweat.

"Spencer?" he said softly, going to kneel by the bed. The boy was staring blankly ahead of him, his brown eyes empty and void of emotion. It was unnerving.

"Hey, buddy," said Morgan soothingly. "It's okay. Just a nightmare. Are you alright?"

He reached a tentative hand out towards the boy's shoulder but as soon as Derek touched him, Spencer screamed again.

"Please! Don't! Don't touch me! Stop it! Stop it!" He was sobbing and had all but thrown himself off the bed in a panic. The sheets were a tightly wrapped mess around his long legs.

"Sh, Shhh. Spencer, it's me. It's Derek. Remember?" he said, trying to keep Spencer calm.

Finally, Spencer looked up at him, seemingly more calm. Derek saw his pupils were dilated.

"Derek?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah, bud. It's me. It's Derek."

Spencer threw himself and Derek, a sobbing mess. "Please! Make him go away! He won't leave me alone! Why doesn't he go away?"

"He's not really there, kid. It was just a nightmare. He'll never touch you again. I promise."

"I-it feels s-so real th-though." He sniffed between hiccups. "L-like I'm right th-there a-all over again."

"It's okay, baby. Everything will alright. You'll have nightmares for a while, but you'll wake up, and I'll be there. Okay?"

"But what if you're not?" Spencer demanded in a. panicky voice.

"Sweetheart, the only time I wouldn't be there is when I'm on a case, but even then you'll have Garcia, who you can meet tomorrow when I go into work, or my mama. And I'm not going on any cases until I'm sure you're comfortable, and even then you can call me. Okay?" said Derek. He was reluctant to mention what would happen if he left on a case, but it felt better to be straight with the child so that later when he found put Derek might have to leave, he wouldn't have as bad a reaction.

"Okay," said Spencer.

"Now, do you want to stay in here or come into my room and sleep with me?"

"You," Spencer mumbled into Derek's chest.

"Ok then," said Derek. He helped Spencer into his pajamas, and carried him to the master bedroom, laid down with him and flicked on the bedside lamp, so it wouldn't be dark.

*Beep* *Beep* *Beep* *Beep*

Derek groaned as he turned over and blindly hit his alarm clock until it stopped beeping. He slumped back down for a second, before gathering the will power to get up.

He had Spencer wrapped in one arm and cuddled up against his chest and other thrown out across the bed.

He looked down at Spencer, and saw the kid was looking at him with big brown eyes from his spot on the bed.

"Ready to go?" asked Derek, starting to sit up.

Spencer nodded, and started sucking his thumb.

"Well, why don't you go pick out some clothes from your bag and get dressed while I take my shower, then make sure to brush your teeth.

When they were both finished getting ready, Derek led Spencer into the driveway and helped him into the front seat.

Once they were on the road, Derek turned to Spencer. "So, you're probably going to spend most of today with Ms. Garcia. Are you okay with that?"

Spencer looked at Derek. "Who's Ms. Garcia?"

Morgan laughed. "Ms. Garcia is one of my friends from work. She's the technical analyst for our team. She's… interesting."

"Oh. Ok."

"And then, once we get you enrolled in school, you'll stop coming to work with me, but for now, this works. Garcia will be happy to have a playmate today."

They arrived at the BAU building and took the elevator up to the floor with Garcia's office.

Derek knocked on the door and opened the door.

Spencer's jaw dropped when he saw the eccentric room, with a very eccentric woman in a chair in front of an impressive display of computers.

Spencer held on tighter to Derek and tried to hide behind him.

"Hello," said the woman, turning in her swivel chair. "Oh!" she squealed when she saw Spencer, and stood to meet them. "Hi." She bent down to Spencer's height. "I'm Penelope."

"Hi, Ms. Garcia," said Spencer. Despite her oddities, she seemed trustworthy. Besides, Derek said she was good, so she must be good…Just not quite as good as Derek.

"Call me Penelope, sweet pea. 'Ms.' makes me feel old."

"Penopoly?" said Spencer, struggling with the long syllables.

"I sound like version of Monopoly. How about just Penny?"

"Penny," tried Spencer, then nodded that that was easier.

"Alright, my chocolate Adonis! Leave Spencer and Auntie Penny so we can wreck mischief and terror on the world!" she said in a voice that Spencer giggle.

"Oh boy. What did I do?" wondered Derek, as he left Garcia's office.

**So, ****it's ****kinda**** short, ****but ****I ****wanted**** to ****be ****able ****to ****get ****it ****out ****at ****some ****point ****today. ****Again,****thanks**** for ****all ****the ****reviews!**


	10. First Day

****100 Reviews! 100 freakin' reviews! I don't believe it. I'm in shock... ya'll are just amazing, you know? 100 reviews... Sorry, kinda in shock. ****

**Oh, and sooooo sorry about the wait for this one! I've had some computer issues. First, I lost my charger, then got a new one (finally), then I got virus, which I thought I'd cleaned up and been really good with, but then, I went to restart my computer a week later, and, lo and behold, something happened to it again and the start-up thing was infected. So, it wiped my hardrive. That means documents, things installed, drives, flipping WINDOWS! I'm just lucky we had an extra Window's CD from when we built my brother's computer and my laptop is a good enough model that it worked and that OpenOffice is free. Else, ya'll would be waiting a lot longer.**

**So, again, I'm waaay sorry. If you have any requests for one-shots or anything you'd like me try, I'd be glad to give it a shot! Just, give me an idea and I'll try. :D As a reward for all the wonderful reviews and patience (or encouraging impatience in some cases) and I'll try and make this a long chapter. I've got an idea of the direction I want this story to start going in, but not really how to get there, so...yeah. :**/

**But I can promise that next chapter will bring on the angst. … and you'll probably all hate me at the end of this chapter, so I'll apologize ahead of time. **

Spencer looked up at Penny. She was weird. Her hair was really blonde and she had lots of stuff on her eyes and funny purple glasses. But, she seemed friendly enough, he supposed. Derek trusted her at least, which gave her some points, but she'd have to earn a lot of them. Spencer didn't just give out trust points. That's what he called them, trust points. It was a system he'd started sometime after he met Gramma Morgan. He needed a way to judge how much he could trust someone that was easily quantifiable, thus the trust point system.

Right now, Derek was at 100, Gramma Morgan was at 40, Des and Sarah were both at 20 and Penny was at 30. It seemed a fair enough number, although it was a very precarious 30. If she made that number go down, so would Derek's.… He had to be fair with the points.

"Spencer? Sweetie?" Spencer jerked out of his thoughts and looked up at Penny when her overly sweet, 'I'm-talking-to-a-mentally-unstable-child' tone addressed him. "Are you alright? You were zoning out there a bit."

Spencer bit his lip and nodded in response to her questions.

"Well," she said, sounding hesitant, "alright then…"

She spun back to her computer for just a second, before turning right back to Spencer and speaking in a very fast, almost panicky way, "Because, if you're not, it's okay, you know. Well, not okay. You shouldn't have to be not okay, but I mean it's okay to admit that you're not okay and you can tell me if you're not okay. Okay?"

Spencer almost giggled at the over activeness of the grown woman and the abuse of the word 'okay' in her sentence, but she didn't have enough trust points for open emotions and giggles yet. A person had to have at least 40 points for an emotional display.She had enough for 'I'll stay in a room with you without having a panic attack.'

Spencer nodded in response to her question.

"Ok then. If you get bored tell me or you can read a book or something. Do you like reading? I don't know if I have anything for someone your age. Darn, I'll have to look into that if you're gonna be staying here often..."

"It's fine. I like reading. I can find something," Spencer responded quietly, not wanting to seem a bother. He found comfort in the near panicky way she cared about his contentment.

"Alrighty. I'll leave you to it then, pumpkin." And with that, she spun her chair back to the computer and started... doing whatever it was that she was doing.

Spencer continued to stand around awkwardly, not really sure what to do. He finally spotted a small bookcase somewhere between all the computers and screens. He tried to walk casually over towards it, in case Penny all of the sudden decided to spin around and ask him what he was doing and decide he wasn't allowed to read her books.

He stood in front of the wooden case and picked up a book at random. The word _Twilight _was at the top of the cover in a simple red fontand at the bottom, Stephanie Meyer. There was a picture of two incredibly pale hands holding a red apple. He didn't think his mom would like this book. Probably say something like 'pop-influenced and overly people pleasing modern crap that is mostly popular because of the media andgovernment's brainwashing of people out of enjoying good literature.'

But Penny didn't seem much like his mother and his mom wasn't here, so he had Penny's book choices. He cracked it open to the first page and began...

Being that there weren't any cases going on at the moment and most of her paperwork was out of the way, Garcia was taking some time to update her computers and rewrite some of the codes of search engines or other programs the team might need. They worked pretty well now, but things were constantly changing and evolving, and, with her job, Garcia needed to be sure that all her programs and devices were in tip-top shape.

But now it was already noon, and there's only so long a person can spend hunched over staring at a screen.

She lifted her arms above her head and leaned back in the swivel chair to stretch, then groaned contentedly as she felt her back pop.

"Spencer?" she asked, as she turned to see the child. He was sitting on the floor by her bookshelf, with _New Moon _opened on his lap. He was already about a quarter way through it and_Twilight _sitting to his left.

_'He couldn't possibly be reading those…and at that rate? Not possible, he's only seven!' _she thought.

"Spencer?" she asked again. This time, his head popped up from the book and looked at Penelope, startled.

"I-I'm sorry, Miss Garcia. I didn't know if I was allowed t-to read these and I sh-should have asked first, b-but I didn't. I'm sorry. Please don't punish me! I-I didn' mean to..."

"Woah there, honey!" Garcia interrupted, trying toresist the urge to scoop him into a huge bear hug. "It's fine. It's fine. I'm not going to punish you for trying to read a book. I said you were welcome to if you wanted, although I'll admit I am slightly surprised at the books you choose. Don't seem a bit... advanced for your age?"

"No, not all," answered Spencer, looking surprised at the suggestion that these were large books for someone his age. "They're not particularly well-written, but they're not difficult. Well, maybe it's not that they're not well-written. Stephanie Meyer has a good style and all, but her main character is one-dimensional and under developed. Way too much of a Mary-Sue like character to ever be able to grow or fulfill any potential of her own that doesn't have Edward jumping into save her, and if she did, then it would be unrealistic and make her even more unlikable. Plus, they're very predictable. For instance, in this one," he lifted _New Moon _to show what he was talking about, "you know that Edward will come back and they'll get back together."

Garcia blinked at the sudden onslaught of information coming from such a young boy. He'd read _and _analyzed one and a quarter of an adult (or at least teenaged) sized book in under 4 hours. She'd have to make a mental note to tell Derek to get his intelligence tested...

Derek sat as his desk, trying to get his mounds of paperwork done and watch Prentiss to make sure she didn't put any extra files in his stack AND try to not worry about Spencer too much.

He had a difficult and demanding job.

He really hoped that Spencer was okay with Garcia right now. It was so difficult for him not just get up and walk on over to Garcia's office to see how he was, but he needed to try and let Spencer get used to Penelope now, because he was going to have to spend time with her. Derek couldn't believe how hard it was to be away from him. _How do Hotch and JJ stand it..._

And what if he was bad at it? Parenting, that is. What if he couldn't handle Spencer and all his past problems and traumas and hurt the boy? His job wouldn't help either. Most children need a stable environment. Derek couldn't provide that. What if he was a terrible parent and Spencer ended up hurt and...

"...Morgan's buying," he heard a voice say, and he snapped out of his thoughts.

"What am I buying?" he questioned, looking over at Prentiss.

"Lunch."

Lunch. He glanced at his watch and saw that it was just passed noon. _That means I can get Spencer now!_

"Yeah, sure," he immediately agreed, ignoring the almost physical cries of pain from his wallet, and started making his way towards Garcia's office.

"Hey, Derek?"

He jumped when he realized that Prentiss had followed him.

"Oh, hey, Emily. Didn't see you there," he said nonchalantly.

"Yeah," she said, almost suspiciously and put a hand on his arm to motion for him to stop walking, which he did. "Is everything alright? You seem out of it today."

"Yeah, I'm fine Emily," he said. At her skeptical look, he added, "Really, I am... just a bit worried about Spencer is all."

She formed a silent 'oh' with her mouth and nodded in understanding. "Okay. Are you getting him from Garcia's office?" Derek nodded. "I'll go with you."

They walked down to Garcia's office and found Spencer sitting on floor surrounded by, God, the _Twiligt _books. God! That woman was going to corrupt the child with sparkly vampires!

He knocked at the open door to get their attention and both people spun towards him. Spencer's face broke into a grin and he was immediately attached to Derek's legs.

"Aw!" cooed Garcia, and Prentiss smiled at the scene. Spencer blushed at the attention but didn't release his hold on Derek at all.

"Hey, buddy," said Morgan, managing to peel the small child off his legs and kneel in front of him. "We're all goin' to lunch together. Are you hungry?" Spencer nodded up and down and gestured that he wanted Derek to pick him up. Derek obliged and Spencer threw one arm around his neck and put the thumb of the other in his mouth, while his head rested happily on Derek's shoulder.

"Okay, then, let's go,"

In the end, everyone decided to go out to lunch together and Derek didn't end up paying. They went to a little Italian place that everyone liked and Spencer got a plate of spaghetti that was really good and met the rest of the team.

JJ was really nice and pretty. She called him Spence, like no else ever had, and told him she had a son, but he was younger than Spencer. She had 20 trust points.

He'd met Prentiss before, but not for very long. She was still really nice and had helped him when he was getting away from Sir. She had 25 trust points, because she seemed a little nervous around him still.

Hotch was scary. He tried to smile and laugh and stuff, but he seemed very stoic and sad all the time. He had 10 points.

Rossi was okay, but was really intimidating. He also had 10 points.

Lunch was really good, and in about an hour everyone headed back to the BAU and Spencer went back with Penelope to her office, but before he went in, he overheard Penny pulling Derek aside to tell him something.

"... he's extremely intelligent, Derek. You need to get him tested. I'm serious. He sat there and read almost two and half good sized books and completely comprehended them!"

"Seriously? He did? I mean, I've realized he's smart, but I'd always kind of assumed it was an above average thing, not quite like that."

"Yeah, Derek, he's smart..."

_'All I did was read a couple books... I did that all the time back home. Surely that doesn't make me super smart. Everyone reads' _

He shook his thoughts off when Penny walked back. The books really sucked anyways.

4:59

Derek was staring at the clock on the wall. 4:59. _Come on. One more minute! That's all! You can do it!_

5:00

_Yes! _

Derek stood up and grabbed his stuff. "Bye, ya'll. I'm out for today." He tried not to full out sprint to Garcia's office in his eagerness to pick up Spencer.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked Spencer when he got there.

Spencer nodded and walked over to Derek, grabbing his hand.

"Let's go buddy."

They walked out to Derek's car and drove home. Derek cooked a nice easy dinner and they watched reruns of old shows together until 8:00, when Spencer fell asleep and Derek carried him back to his room.

Derek came back to the living room and started to flip the TV channel, until he heard his phone start ringing. It wasn't a number he recognized, so that meant that there wasn't case.

"Morgan," he answered, wondering who would be calling at 8 in the evening.

"_Hello, Agent Morgan? This is Gloria Martinez from St. Marks's hospital in Las Vegas. I believe we a had a Spencer Reid here as a patient a few weeks ago,with no guardian. It's my understanding that you took him in under a temporary guardianship unless we could find a living family member, yes?"_

"Yes..." answered Derek, feeling his stomach knot up all of the sudden.

"_Well, we didn't think it was very likely at the time, but we did actually find a man named John Reid that is related to Spencer. He's his uncle; his father's brother. We've contacted him and he is perfectly willing to take Spencer in. He lives in Washington, near the Oregon border. We'll send someone to pick up Spencer in about a week. You can go with him if you want to. Oh, and thank you so much for watching him all this time. I know a small child can be a handful, but now we've found a suitable legal guardian and you don't have to anymore. Any questions?"_

"Um, n-no. No questions. A week, you said? You're taking him in a week?"

"_Yes sir. Actually, a week and 2 days to be exact. Can you make sure he's ready by next Wednesday?"_

Derek swallowed. "Uh, sure."

"_Thank you very much, sir. Bye now." _

He barely heard the phone click when the call hung up.

They were going to take Spencer from him and there was nothing he could do about it...

**Don't hate me, please? Oh, and I can promise, the cuteness is all but over now... **

**Oh, and I'm sorry if I insulted any Twilight fans. **

**Oh, and, as always, thanks Fuzzball45 for the beta! Especially because this chapter was so screwed up spacing wise. :/ **


	11. Uncle John

**Here it goes...**

Derek fell back on his couch. _They're taking him from me. They're taking _my _Spencer. _

He didn't realize when he'd become so attached to the child, but now, the thought of not having him right next to him made Derek feel a physical pain. His heart ached and he felt like he was going to throw up. _This must be what all the parents we have to talk to feel like when their kid is taken from them..._

He wanted to do something about it. Go to Child Services and scream and argue until they agreed with him and let him keep Spencer, but he couldn't. Legally, they were right. When he agreed to take Spencer in, it was under the assumption that if a living and willing relative was found, custody would change hands. This sucked.

And how was he going to tell Spencer? He'd just now gotten the child to trust him, and _only _him, mind you, how was Spencer going to react when it came time for Derek to tell him that he couldn't stay anymore? God, the kid was going to be heartbroken. He might never trust anyone again. Well, except his uncle, hopefully. And, who knows, maybe he'll see his mother more with his uncle, and it's sure to be a more stable environment.

With those thoughts, Derek managed to fall asleep, until his blaring alarm woke both him and Spencer the next morning.

He went to Spencer and helped the tired boy up. He was rubbing at his eyes and yawning. He clearly did not want to be up this morning.

"Hey, buddy?" asked Derek.

Spencer looked up at him through sleep clouded eyes. Why was he using that tone? Was something wrong?

"Yeah?" he murmured suspiciously.

"I need to talk to you about something important for a second, alright?" he said softly.

Spencer looked at him and slowly nodded. What could he possibly want to talk about right now? What had happened? No one talked like that unless something was wrong.

"Here, sit down," Derek said, and helped Spencer sit on the bed. "This is really important, so I need you to listen. I'm not really sure how to tell you this, so I guess I'll start at the beginning. Last night, I got a phone call from a woman at the hospital you were at back in Vegas. She said that they've been looking for family members of yours and they found an uncle in Washington." Spencer began to shake. He hoped to God that it didn't mean what he thought it meant. "I'm sorry, Spencer, but you have to go live with him. In about a week."

Spencer started crying. No. No. No! The word was on repeat through his head. He looked up at Derek, trying to see through all the tears in his eyes. "Please, no. I'm sorry. Please don't send me away! I can be good! I promise. I'll be better!" Spencer slid off the couch to his knees in front of Derek and started trying to get his pants undone. _Maybe if I make him happy... this always made Sir so happy. I can be good. I'll be good for Derek and I can stay. _"I'll be good for you, Derek. I'll do anything you want. I'll-"

"Whoa there, bud!" said Derek loudly, and in shock. He picked Spencer off his knees and sat on the bed, balancing Spencer on his lap. Spencer dug his head into Derek's shoulder and continued crying.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I can be good. I'll be good for you Derek, I promise. Whatever you want, just don't send me away please!" Spencer kept sobbing into Derek's shoulder, saying anything that he thought might make Derek let him stay. He didn't want to be sent away.

"There, there, bud. It'll be okay. I promise. It's not about you being good or bad. If were up to me, you could stay with me as long as you like, but they've been looking to see if you have any family and they want you to stay with them, all right? I know it sucks, it really does, but there's not anything either of us can do about it. I'm sorry. You've done nothing wrong. You're a very good person, you know that, Spencer? Very good. That's got nothing to do with this at all," Derek tried to reassure the distraught boy.

Spencer looked up Derek. "Really?" he asked.

"Yes, really," Derek said with a smile, and ruffled Spencer's long hair. Hm, maybe they should get him a haircut before he moved...

Spencer sniffled again and dug his head back into the crook of Derek's shoulder. _Well, maybe I should've waited until tonight for this... probably am gonna have to take off of work. Hotch'll understand._

* * *

><p>Spencer and Derek spent the morning sitting around and not really doing anything, until around noon when they decided (well, Morgan decided) that it was time to get lunch. While they were eating, Derek asked Spencer if he would like getting his haircut.<p>

Spencer nodded up and down vigorously. He _hated _having long hair and was ready for it all to be gone.

"Okay then," Derek said kindly, "I'm taking off work today. We can get it done. I think there's a pretty good barber down the road. That sound good?"

Spencer nodded again.

Derek smiled real big at him, then patted his leg, loving like, not anything like _Sir _had when he touched his leg, and walked pulled out his cell phone.

"I'm just gonna call Hotch real quick and see if I need an appointment to get you into the barber's shop."

Spencer nodded again, and watched as Derek rounded the corner of his house and went to make the call in private.

Derek opened his flip phone and held down the "1" button, until the words "Calling Hotch" appeared above a picture he'd gotten Prentiss to take and Garcia to photoshop of Hotch when he wasn't looking. He held the device to his ear, and it stopped ringing almost immediately.

"_Hotchner."_

"Hey, Hotch. It's me, Morgan," said Derek. _Stupid _he berated himself. _He has Caller-ID... he knows who you are! _Morgan had never quite got the hang of how to start non-case related calls. On a case, you were efficient and there was no time for introductions and fluffy crap... well, unless it was with Garcia, but that's a special case.

"_Is anything the matter?"_ asked Hotch, letting his concern he had for the team sink into his voice. Hotch really was an extremely caring man _and _boss, although he only let a few people see it.

"Um, actually, yeah. Kinda," replied Morgan.

_"What is it?"_ Morgan could practically see his unit chief leaning up from his desk and abandoning everything, almost as if he'd had someone walk in the door right then and was talking face-to-face.

"It's about Spencer. I, uh, got a call last night from the hospital he was in, and, um, the lady said they'd found an uncle for him to stay with." _Damn! _Thought Morgan. _Why am I stuttering and messing up so much? I _never _sound like this! _

"_I thought it was almost positive that he had no living relatives,"_ Hotch said, almost monotonously.

"Yeah, well, they found one. There's nothing really I can do about it, but God," Morgan sighed and ran a hand over his bald head in frustration, "it's just... I don't know. Messin' me up."

"_I can imagine. Kids have a way of... growing on a person quickly. More quickly than seems possible, but the second you have a child, your own or not, there's a connection. It'd be like losing Jack..." _  
>Hotch trailed off, in an unusual show of sentimentality and genuine emotion.<p>

"Yeah, I suppose so..." Derek agreed. "Anyways, I was calling to ask for the day off."

"_Of course!"_ said Hotch. _"Take as much as you need. That goes without saying. When is he supposed to be leaving?" _

"One week." Derek felt the bitterness rise in his tone, unwelcome.

"_Then take the week off. Be with him. It can't be easy for Spencer either. _

"Well, I'll let you go now. Need to make a few other calls," said Derek.

"_Sure. Bye,"_ said Hotch, and then there was the dial tone. That was the good thing about talking to Hotch. He didn't fill space with fluff and sentimental shit. He said what was needed and was done with it.

After he was finished with the call to Hotch, he found the number for his barber and scheduled Spencer an appointment, explaining his special needs to the barber. Morgan hated that phrase. _Special Needs. _It wasn't like Spencer was retarded or slow, on the contrary he was extremely bright, but he still had to use that phrase, which was usually associated with mentally disabled people, because some bastard of a pervert decided that he could do whatever the fuck he wanted. _Fuck it, _Derek decided _I'm going to go out and have a good day with Spencer and enjoy our week together! _

* * *

><p>Spencer was going to get his hair cut at noon, so Derek went ahead and cooked the two of them breakfast. Pancakes, eggs, bacon, and juice. Spencer ate the pancakes and bacon. Derek ate eggs and bacon. He wasn't a pancake person. Too sweet.<p>

They enjoyed their breakfast then just spent the morning goofing off and watching Spongebob reruns, until it was time to go.

The place was right up the street from where Derek lived and took very little time to drive to, so Derek took that chance to talk to Spencer and try and make sure he would be okay with a stranger cutting his hair. Coming near him with a blade.

"Spencer?" he asked gently.

"Yes, Derek?" he responded, more politely than most seven-year-olds were capable of.

"Can I talk to you about the barber?" he asked again, trying to make sure it was phrased as a question so it sounded gentler.

Spencer bit his lip and nodded.

"His name is Mr. Winston Stark, although you can just call him Winnie. He's about eighty years old and couldn't hurt a fly if he wanted to. And even if he did, I could take him and will be standing right there next to you the whole time. I'm just telling you this, so you don't get scared, alright?"

Spencer nodded again, and turned to look out the window. Derek sighed and soon enough they arrived at a brick building in a plaza with a red and white striped pole in front of it. A classic barber shop.

They walked through the doors and a bell rang. Everyone turned towards them, then back towards what they were doing, except for Mr. Stark. He greeted Derek happily and joked with Spencer for a second, crouching down to appear even less intimidating than his grey hair, blue eyes, permanent smile, and laugh lines made him look.

He led Spencer to a chair, and Derek held his hand the whole time. Mr. Stark only used scissors, knowing that Spencer would freak out if a razor touched his head, and finished quickly.

Spencer's hair was cut in a style befitting a little boy, with bangs just above his eyebrows and hair that stopped above his ears and only came to the bottom of head, as opposed to below his collar and almost touching his shoulder, as it was prior to this trip.

Spencer saw it and smiled. He ran his hand through it to feel the clean softness of his new hair. He hadn't had his hair cut in almost three years. His mother hadn't taken him to get one because she was sick and Sir liked his hair real long. Spencer liked this style though. It was nice. He looked back at Morgan and made sure he could see his smile. He might not be able to say thanks, but maybe this would be enough...

Morgan's heart sang when he saw Spencer wearing his wide smile. He'd been tense while he was getting it cut, but it wasn't too bad. He tended to be a good judge of character, as are many children. They walked out to Morgan's car and went to grab lunch, and Morgan swore to himself that Spencer and he would have an amazing week together...

* * *

><p>The week, well, actually 8 days, went by way too quickly for Morgan. They went out together and saw a couple movies. Derek took Spencer toy shopping and ate out when they decided a restaurant would be good and ate in when Derek was up for making a home cooked meal.<p>

* * *

><p>Spencer proved as smart as Garcia said he was, but Derek wasn't able to ever get him tested. They didn't have time, but Derek decided that was something he should do when he got to Washington anyways. If that's where he was going to go to school, it would be less trouble to just find out where he lay intelligence wise there. Derek felt a pang in his chest that he quickly pushed away when he realized he couldn't see Spencer start school. Surely this Uncle John wouldn't be opposed to Derek occasionally visiting...<p>

And finally, the day for Spencer to leave came, and both boys were freaking out.

* * *

><p>"Spencer," said Derek. "Spencer!"<p>

"Hm," said Spencer, his leg bouncing uncontrollably and involuntarily.

"You okay?" asked Derek, who was getting nervous. Partially from the move and partially from Spencer's reaction. Eventually, he just crushed one of his anti-anxiety pills that the doctor prescribed and dropped it in his drink. Spencer seemed to calm after that.

* * *

><p>"Come on, bud. We're gonna miss our flight," encouraged Derek. He grabbed a couple of Spencer's suitcases and Spencer started pulling a small rolling one.<p>

They hopped in Derek's car and got to the airport. Spencer about had a panic attack at security, when they insisted on scanning everything thoroughly, but he made it through okay at the end. Probably thanks to the pill Derek had snuck him.

At the gates, they met Spencer's case worker, an overly cheerful blonde woman named Sherri that reminded Derek of morning show host.

The three boarded the plane and took what felt like the longest plane ride ever to Derek before they finally touched down in Washington.

Sherri informed Derek that John Reid knew about Spencer's case already was extremely sympathetic, so Derek didn't need to go through any of that while they walked through the airport, looking for John.

Eventually, they found him. He looked to be around forty, with dark hair just starting to turn grey and the beginnings of a bear belly. Morgan immediately turned on his profiler mode and started watching for any signs of not being completely and totally devoted to Spencer's well-being.

"Hello, there," he said when they approached him, and crouched down to a child size. Derek was impressed he could that with his gut. "You must be Spencer. I've heard so many things about you. I'm sure we'll be great friends." He wore a large smile and spoke in that tone that people used when speaking to small children that was supposed be sweet, but eventually got annoying. Well, at least he was trying. Derek had to give him points for that.

Spencer buried his head into Derek's side and wrapped his arms around Derek's middle.

Sherri looked up at John and smiled, trying to be reassuring. Derek was immediately reminded of a used car salesman. "He's a bit shy. Aren't you, Spencer?" she said, changing her tone and looking down at Spencer during that last part. Spencer just clutched Derek more tightly.

Sherri looked at her watch and exclaimed, "Oh my! Look at that. We're on a schedule and I've got places to go. Okay, Spencer. Say bye to Derek before his flight leaves."

Spencer forced himself away from Derek, knowing that Derek wanted him to do this. He had to be brave.

"Bye, Derek," he whispered, trying to not let the moisture he felt building in his eyes fall.

"Bye, buddy. I can visit if we ever come up here for a case, alright?"

Spencer nodded and tried to smile, before giving Derek one more big hug. Sherri cleared her throat and they eventually pulled apart.

"Well, bye, then," said Derek and reluctantly started backing away.

"Come on, Spencer," said Uncle John, "let's go." He grabbed Spencer's small hand and led him out of the airport while Spencer tried to keep himself from pulling his hand away.

Derek just watched him leave.

Spencer and John walked outside and found where John had parked his car, managing to get pretty close to the building. He drove a four door sedan of sort, implying he made okay money. Upper-middle class, Spencer guessed.

Spencer hopped in the front seat and pulled his legs up to his body.

He jumped when he felt a light stinging slap to his leg. "Feet off the seat."

Spencer felt tears run down his face. The slap hadn't been that hard (too hard to simply be a gesture to tell his to move his feet) but it was shocking.

"I've got a couple rules and expectations," said Uncle John, "that I expect to be followed. Do that, and we'll get on fine. You'll figure out the rules. They're not too complicated."

Spencer nodded and wiped his nose on his sleeve.

They drove for a good hour, before arriving at Uncle John's two story suburban house and pulled in. Uncle John made Spencer some ramen noodles and told Spencer that he'd need to figure out how to do that himself. It wouldn't be hard. He'd done it for his mom and him for a long time before any of this mess happened.

He tried to cross paths as little as possible with his Uncle and stay quiet.

He managed pretty well, although he was bored out of his mind, until dinner. He made himself some more of the noodles, and then was going back upstairs to quietly entertain himself.

"Come here, Spencer," said Uncle John in his gruff voice. Spencer turned with one foot on the first stair and the other on the ground. He turned back and looked at Uncle John with a question in his eyes.

"Well, don't be shy. Come 'ere," he said again, and gestured.

Spencer sighed and walked over to the couch, where John was watching football and drinking a Budd Light. He stood awkwardly by the couch, biting his lip while considering rather or not to sit. The decision was made when he was pulled onto his uncle's lap.

Spencer stiffened and wanted to scream. No one could touch him. If they touched him, he would freak out. He didn't want to feel those hands again. Not ever again...

And there they were. Spidery, crawly hands moving across his body. He squinted his eyes closed and tried to relax, but they were still there, exploring his lap, almost innocently.

Except the hands he remembered could never be called innocent, even if it was a messed up and warped almost innocent.

"Please, no. Don't," Spencer unconsciously begged, salty tears running down his face.

"S'Okay, boy," a gruff voice said next to him. He felt a scraggly chin against his face. "Gonna be good."

Spencer choked on a sob when he realized he wasn't caught in a memory, and life with Uncle John was going to be anything but 'okay', like everyone had promised. That sentiment was exemplified when he was led up to Uncle John's room that night to be informed that they were sharing. That's when Spencer Reid decided, rather consciously or not, that people were liars and he was done talking to them. Another word would never leave his mouth.

**So, um... yeahhhh. Don't hate me too much please? **


	12. Four Years Later

**Four Years Later**

Spencer Reid flipped almost inhumanly fast through the book he'd stolen from his elementary school library. His refusal to talk or communicate in anyway way at all had labeled him as a 'special needs and education' case. He was put in class with mentally disabled students and couldn't check out books that were "too big" for him. They thought they were helping.

And while it irked the eleven-year-old Spencer, it wasn't enough to make him talk. Or sign. Or write. Or any of the other communication methods the teachers and counselors could come up with. He did just the amount of classwork that he'd calculated would let him pass and refused to do anything else. He briefly considered that if he let his intelligence show, he could get out of here faster. Go to college, preferably in Virginia, and stay the Hell away from John forever. But he threw that theory away quickly. John wouldn't let him go. He could graduate early and have full scholarships to anywhere he wanted at age twelve, but Uncle John wouldn't let him. Instead, he'd be sitting at home with the man for seven hours when he could be in his relative safe haven.

But when he was eighteen... when he was eighteen, he would be gone. There was nothing anyone could do to stop him. He'd be out that door and free as a bird. In highschool, he could keep his grades at a level where he could get into an out of state school, but not draw attention to himself. He couldn't wait for that day.

He knew where he wanted to go. Virginia Tech. He didn't care what he studied (hell, he'd study everything if possible!) but he wanted to go to Virginia Tech. Ranked 44th in US colleges, lots of programs... and it was in Virginia.

He'd fallen in love with Virginia. It was so pretty and nice and the weather wasn't constantly rainy like in Washington or constantly dry like Nevada. That was the only place that held good memories, although he couldn't think of all the memories of Derek and the BAU without feeling this strange pang in his chest. It made him want to puke and cry and rage. He wanted to scream at the world until someone, something, made that broken empty feeling that Derek left him with go away.

He'd long since given up hope of ever seeing Derek again. In the past four years Derek had not once visited him as promised. Well, that was understandable. He didn't want to be laden down with some whiny "special needs and education" kid when he could be doing so much more. Spencer just wished he'd have told him that to his face and not lied about "visiting if it's possible". That he didn't have to find out the hard way.

But, that was the past. People were bad. That was just the fact of life. Some people got to live white-picket-fence, amazing lives where they're only problems were paper-cuts and the latest fashions. The world had never said no to them or shown its dark side. And some people got crappy lives with sick as fuck kidnappers and uncles and lying, backstabbing 'friends.' People who had never had a break and it seemed like all the bad luck that the lucky people never had to experience got thrown on them. And Spencer was, predictably, the latter.

"Spencer!"

Spencer cringed at his uncle's voice calling his name. Being called only ever meant trouble. Or sex. Trouble was preferable and almost undoubtedly what was going on now. He sighed and marked 'his' book and shoved it under Uncle John's (and his) bed.

"SPENCER!" John's voice roared from downstairs again.

Spencer picked up his pace and all but ran downstairs. No need to make him any angrier.

"There you are, boy," growled his uncle, grabbed the scruff of Spencer's neck and led him to the living room. "Ya see that?" he asked, pointing at muddy shoe prints on the white carpet. "That's mud! Ya tracked mud into my beautiful house, and didn't clean it up, even after I told you earlier to clear the living room!"

Spencer cringed. He could smell the alcohol on his uncle's breath, and, while it wasn't really all that much for him, it still meant he would be more unreasonable than usual. He was always a neat freak that was surprisingly concerned about the state of his precious house and belongings, but when he got drunk, even just slightly, the smallest thing out of place became a cardinal sin.

"I let you into my house and take care of you! I feed you and keep a roof over your goddamn head! And how do you repay me? You track mud into my house, you little whore!" John yelled loudly, and out of control.

Spencer cringed at the last insult. He wanted to yell 'I'm not a whore!', but, frankly, he wasn't so sure if that was the truth or not. He could claim rape all day long, but, really, if it was rape, what are the chances that two different men would both be attracted to him and that he would, ah, _physically enjoy _them touching 'down there'. It must mean he was a whore, right? Or at least a slut.

_The truth always hurts the most, Spencer _some nasty voice inside him said.

Spencer attached his gaze to the floor and tried to hold his tears at bay, but he couldn't. There were silent tears already running down his cheeks.

He fell to the floor with a cry when the back of his uncle's hand hit his face. His head cracked against the floor hard when he landed and his vision went blurry for a second. He might have blacked out too, but no longer than a second. He put on hand against his burning cheek and looked up at his uncle with tears running from his eyes Uncle John almost _never _hit him in the face. Or anywhere else marks could be seen.

Spencer gasped and let out a whimper when he was kicked. He curled into a ball with his arms around his neck to try and guard against severe damage.

The onslaught finally stopped, which felt like a lot longer than if probably was. Spencer stayed curled in a ball, crying. He heard his uncle's footsteps march away and felt his chest fill with relief. Well, until he heard them coming back. But, instead of another act of violence, a wet rag and bottle of something that smelled like ammonia cleaner was thrown at him.

With a last pathetic sniffle, Spencer pulled himself off the ground, wincing in pain as he did so, picked up the cleaning products thrown at him, and got to work.

Spencer had passed out on the couch shortly after finishing cleaning, and, much to his surprise, he woke up in the morning at 6:30 with an awful headache. It was the same time his internal clock woke him up every day. Thursday. That meant he could go to school instead of back to sleep. He pushed himself off the couch into a sitting position and bit his lip to stop from crying out.

_I don't _think _anything's broken, _thought Spencer. _Maybe a cracked rib. That would explain the pain in my chest and trouble breathing... other than that, no _real _damage done. I can make it to school just fine. _

When he stood up and had trouble balancing and seeing, he added 'possible concussion' to his list of ailments.

Spencer tip-toed quietly up to his uncle's room when he'd mostly regained his orientation and silently opened the door, thanking God that Uncle John had seemingly passed out in drunkenness and wasn't getting up anytime soon.

He crossed the room as quietly as possible nonetheless, and opened the closet to pull out an oversized T-Shirt and a pair of bedraggled jeans that hung just above his ankles. His worn red Converse were by the door with a pair of mismatched socks tucked inside to wear.

Spencer crept out the bedroom and made his way downstairs, before throwing his clothes on, grabbing his backpack, and heading to school.

It was cold out, but his jacket was in too terrible condition to even think about wearing, so he sucked it up, and made it to school extremely early, as always.

His backpack was putting a strain on what he was now almost certain were cracked ribs. By the time he walked through the front doors of his school, it was all he could do to not collapse in pain. _Uncle John's not usually that violent, _thought Spencer in confusion. _Sure, he hurts me, but never enough to do damage. Or, not where people can _see _the damage. _

Spencer shook off his thoughts and just walked over to a table in the cafeteria to sit at until the bell rang to dismiss him to class.

The cafeteria slowly filled with people and eventually, the bell rang and all the kids started making their way to class, the youngest ones with teachers leading them in straight lines. Spencer was in one of those lines with the rest of the "Special Needs" kids, as they made their way to a part of the school separate from everyone else.

Spencer loved learning. He loved it more than anything else. But, here, he wasn't learning anything. He was having people tell him stuff over and over again that he already knew. The most simple reading and writing and math and sciences. Stuff he was tackling in when he was with his mother, not stuff that he should have been learning as an eleven year old. Fifth grade, and all the grades before it, was boring.

The short walk to his classroom was almost unbearable for Spencer. His side ached so badly and he could hardly breathe at all anymore. He finally started to cry. It was just too much. Too much damn pain.

He stopped walking, not really caring that people were looking anymore. He hurt too much. He dropped his bag and sank to floor, sighing when the weight was taken off his ribs.

"Spencer?" a concerned female voice asked. Mrs. Perry.

"Spencer? Are you okay?" she asked again. Spencer started to nod, purely out of habit, to tell her that everything, no matter how wrong it was, was just fine. But this time, he stopped. He wasn't fine. He was tired of being 'fine'. He was tired of hurting. He was just plain tired! Tired of it all.

_'It's okay to admit that you're not okay,'_

Words spoken what felt like over a life time ago to him came back unbidden. He remembered Penny's concerned space as she explained that telling people something was wrong was acceptable.

And, so, for the first time ever, he shook his head to say, 'no, I'm not okay.'

"What hurts?" Mrs. Perry asked, still expecting him to open his mouth and speak, even after in all the years she'd known him, he'd never done that. He wasn't sure he even _could _speak anymore, now that his vocal cords were so out of practice.

Instead of answering, Spencer just wrapped his arms around himself protectively and started crying.

"Sweetie, what's the matter?"

Spencer shook his head, tired of questions. He was done. He'd admitted he was in pain, hadn't he? Wasn't that enough?

"Spencer?" that sweet, caring voice asked again, "please, _please _find a way to tell me what's wrong." She pushed his bangs away from his face and gasped at the dark hand shaped bruise on his face.

Spencer felt himself drifting. His body couldn't take the pain, and so his mind started to let him fall into obliviousness. The darkness awaiting him felt wonderful, and he did his best to crawl towards it...

Mrs. Perry looked at Spencer in worry, wondering where that handprint came from, but suddenly, she realized he'd fallen into her, unconscious.

"Shit," she cursed, and looked into the nearest classroom, reluctant to move Spencer until she knew what his injuries were.

"Someone!" she called loudly. "Call the nurse! Please!"

An elderly woman, Mrs. Smith, walked out of one of the classrooms in a frenzy. "What's going on? What happened?"

"I don't know," responded Mrs. Perry, frantically. "We were walking down the hallway, then all of the sudden, he stopped and fell to the ground. He was conscious but in pain and has this bruise on his face, but then he fell unconscious and I need the nurse now!"

Mrs. Smith nodded wide eyed and hurried off towards the nurse's office and came back with Nurse Wilson. One look at the boy, though, had Nurse Wilson calling an ambulance.

"Did he tell you what was wrong?" the nurse asked Mrs. Perry.

"N-No," responded Mrs. Perry, doing her best to keep cool and collected. "He's, um, well, as far we can tell he's mute. Sort of."

"Sort of? How can you be 'sort of' mute?" asked the nurse.

"Well, he's not actually 'mute', like some damage in his brain or vocal cords or something that keeps him from being able to speak, he's just... well, we don't really know. He doesn't communicate and only does the amount of schoolwork it takes to pass."

Nurse Wilson sighed. "Well, that makes this a bit more difficult then."

The ambulance pulled up to the school quickly. Paramedics climbed out, placed Spencer on a stretcher and loaded him into the back of the ambulance. Mrs. Perry climbed up with him to ride along. There were other people to take over her class.

She tried to stand out of the way, but that was difficult with all the paramedics. They were saying lots of stuff between them, but the only part of it she understood was 'concussion', 'left ribs 3-5 bruised', 'right ribs 4 and 5 cracked', and 'repeated blows to the body over a period of time.'

But for her mind, it was enough to put the pieces together. It meant that John Reid was a two-faced lying son a bitch that needed to rot in Hell.

The truck pulled up to the hospital and Spencer was rolled out with on a stretcher with an IV in his arm that was pumping NSAID pain relief into him.

He was given his own room and Mrs. Perry was pulled aside to speak to the doctor. His name tag announced him as Dr. Terry.

"Mrs. Perry?" he asked.

"Call me Teresa, please," she said, getting tired of her title.

"Ah, okay. Teresa, have you noticed any signs of abuse or irregular bruising on Spencer?"

"Well, occasionally, but it's never enough to really question," she said, feeling guilty and sheepish even as she said the words.

"Have you asked about any of it?" Dr. Terry asked.

"Of course!" Teresa Perry said loudly, sounding offended. "But Spencer Reid is basically mute. He won't talk or communicate in anyway to anyone. He'll nod or shake his head, but that's about it."

The doctor's brow furrowed as he flipped through some papers on one of clipboards. "That's not on any of his medical records."

"Well, I don't know why. He moved here about four years ago, when he was seven. His father died before he was born and his mother is schizophrenic, so he lives with his uncle. That's really all I know about him."

"We can't send him back to his uncle until we're sure there's nothing going there..." he continued to flip through papers until he found Spencer's emergency contacts. "There's a Derek Morgan on here as his only emergency contact. Says he lived with him while they were searching for family members. I'll get a receptionist to give him a call. He's already cleared to take care of Spencer."

He gave the number to a nurse to try and call and see if it was possible for him to get up here... Dr. Terry really didn't want to send that boy into foster care. He'd seen his records and medical history. It's was nothing short of sickening. And if his uncle was doing what he thought he was doing... well, he wouldn't be talking either if something like happened to him. The system could be messed up. There was no way he'd want that little boy with anyone that wasn't going to treat him with all the love and care he deserved.

"Doctor," he heard one of his nurses saying. Dr. Terry turned around and looked inquisitively at the young nurse, silently asking 'yes' "He's awake. Do you need to talk to him?"

Dr. Terry nodded and quickly walked into the room, with Mrs. Perry behind him. He gestured for the nurses in there to leave, so the boy would have as little stress as possible.

Spencer didn't know where he was or how he got there. It reminded him vaguely of where he was after he got away from Sir. A hospital. Does that make the man in the white coat a Doctor? Or maybe an angel? Angels wore white and lived in hospitals sometimes right? Especially the guardian angels. To take the dead people to Heaven and heal the ones who weren't done living yet. Maybe.

What was his angel's name? Derek? That sounded a little right.

His thoughts felt all jumbled and weird, but he remembered what had happened and felt a little pain in his head and chest. Breathing hurt.

"Hello? Spencer?" said the Doctor (angel?) kindly. "Can I ask you a few questions? You can just nod or shake your head if you want.

Spencer bit his lip and nodded after a second of thinking.

"Does your head hurt?"

Nod.

"Can you breath in deep for me?" Spencer did so. "Did that hurt?"

Nod.

The doctor put his hands on Spencer's ribs and felt around a bit. Spencer winced when he got to some.

"Does this hurt?"

Nod.

"How about this?" he asked, moving his hands to the other side of his ribcage.

Nod.

"Which hurt more?" he asked.

Spencer just stared.

"Blink once for the first push and twice for the other."

Blink. Blink.

"Good that's good. You're doing great Spencer. Are you having trouble thinking or keeping you thoughts together?"

Nod.

"Okay, now I need to ask some questions about how you got all these injuries, alright?" Dr. Terry asked, pulling a chair up next to Spencer so as to less intimidating.

Spencer nodded after a few seconds of thinking.

"Good," said the doctor with a big smile that made his blue eyes light up. "Did your Uncle give you these injuries?"

Spencer's eyes went wide, and then, he started crying. _This is it. Just nod. That's all you have to do. Up and down. _Spencer squinted his eyes shut hard causing more tears to fall and nodded quickly.

"Okay, Spencer it's okay. You can cry. You just took a really big step, you know? That was very brave. There's just a few more things and I can leave you be. Unless you want me stay," the Doctor reassured.

"Does your uncle ever... touch you? In ways that make you uncomfortable?" he asked, praying that the answer wouldn't be what he thought.

It was. Spencer nodded and broke down into uncontrollable sobs.

Damn that man. Damn him all the way to hell and further. The doctor took in a deep breath of air. He had to keep going...

He rubbed Spencer's back to try and calm him and continue the questioning. "It's okay, Spencer, it's okay. Just a few more and it'll be over. Ready?"

Spencer sniffled a bit and nodded, keeping his eyes averted. He could hear Mrs. Perry crying from where she was standing by the doctor. She must have been so disgusted with him right now...

"Did your Uncle ever, uh, ...penetrate you?" asked the Doctor. If Spencer didn't understand, he wouldn't nod or shake his head. Then he would explain what penetrate meant, but for now, he wanted to hide behind his medical terms.

Spencer nodded and started sobbing so hard that Dr. Terry knew he could get no more information out of him and just started rubbing his back in soothing circles.

* * *

><p>Derek Morgan was sitting in the bullpen of the BAU doing absolutely nothing. He was supposed to be doing paper work but he really didn't feel like it. He didn't feel like doing much since Spencer left.<p>

He'd tried many times to get a hold of John Reid, but had never been able to. He finally just assumed that Spencer was done with this chapter of his life and had forgotten about Derek Morgan.

Still, Morgan thought about him all the time. Where he was, how he was doing. Did have a lot of friends? Did he like sports? Just how smart was he?

Derek knew he was still an emergency contact for Spencer, but that was about it. He felt empty without Spencer. A big gaping hole in his heart...

He phone started to vibrate in his pocket. He pulled out his iPhone (so much better than his old flip phone) and hit answer without checking the caller ID.

"Morgan," he said into the phone.

"_Hello? Derek Morgan? My name is Claudia Putnam, I work for The First Methodist Hospital in Walla Walla Washington,"_ an unfamiliar female voice said.

Morgan felt his heart jump. That's where Spencer was. "Yes?" he said, feeling his voice get higher with nerves as he said the word.

"_There's a young boy here who has you listed as an emergency contact. His name is Spencer Reid. We have suspicions of abuse according to his injuries and you're listed here as an alternate guardian. Is it possible for you to come-"_

Derek cut her off, "I'll be there ASAP on the next flight," and hung up the phone. He ran to Garcia's office and asked her to book him the soonest flight possible to the closest airport to Walla Walla. She agreed and Derek was out the door before she could even ask why.

He ran to Hotch's office, explained he was taking time off, and turned to leave, but Hotch stopped him before he left.

"What's going on, Derek?" he asked, sounding concerned.

Derek slowed for a moment and decided to explain. "I got a call from a hospital in Walla Walla about Spencer. They say they suspect his Uncle of child abuse and I need to go get him."

Hotch's eyes widened marginally and he told him to do what he needed. He'd take care of everything.

Derek thanked him and was out the door. He ran back to Garcia's office (starting to lose his breath) and asked about the flight.

"It leaves from the airport in about an hour... what's-" she started.

"Thanks baby, girl," he said, and pulled out his wallet. "How much was the flight?"

"Well, it was $350, but-"

Derek counted out the money and threw it to her.

"Thanks again. Gotta go. Bye," he said in a rush, and ran out to his car, ignoring the stares. He drove to the airport way faster than he should have, grabbed his go-bag, which was in his car, and rushed into the airport.

But, of course, when he got there, security pulled him aside to scan him, search his bag, and about a trillion other things, the flight was delayed and it took forever to get there.

When he finally did, he found a cab, got in, and told the driver where to go, impatiently asking the driver 'step on it' and 'just hurry the fuck up.' He never did. Derek didn't tip him.

Morgan ran into the hospital and started asking for Spencer Reid. One woman finally led him up to his room and he found Spencer asleep in a hospital room, with bruises on his face, arms, and chest. There was a bandage around his head and he was incredibly skinny. His skin was pale, and his hair looked darker than Derek remembered. But he still looked like his Spencer.

A doctor came by and told Derek that Spencer had a concussion, 2 cracked ribs, and 3 bruised ribs, all of which would heal on their own. He also admitted to having been molested and raped by his uncle, as well as physically abused.

Derek looked at the doctor, "You got Spencer to tell you all that?" In all the time he'd known Spencer, the boy never admitted to pain or not being 'fine.'

"Well, kind of." She paused and chewed on her lip. "See, he doesn't talk-"

"He doesn't what?" Derek exploded. That fucking bastard. He'd broken Spencer so far he won't even fucking TALK.

"He doesn't communicate. At all. He would shake his head or nod in response to my questions, but other than that, his teacher says he was resistant to sign language or writing his thoughts and only did enough work to pass on to the next grade level. Well, usually move onto the next grade if he took summer school. Which was probably a ploy to stay away from home."

Derek wanted to punch someone. Preferably John Reid, right where the sun didn't shine. And in his face. And just about everywhere else.

Instead, he pulled a chair up next to Spencer and fell asleep promising him he'd never have to hurt like that again...

* * *

><p><p>

**Okay, a few notes.**

**1. I do not agree with any of the stuff Spencer was thinking. That should go unsaid, but just in case, ya'll should know that everything was non-consensual and that no matter how his body responded, it didn't mean jack shit.**

**2. Again, despite Spencer's thoughts, no one was disgusted by him. It wasn't his fault, whether he notices that or not. I was just trying to understand how he would be looking at all of this.**

**This all probably goes without being said, I just wanted to clarify.**


	13. Derek

Spencer stirred awake on an unfamiliar bed, almost groaning when he shifted and his ribs hurt. Then, he remembered why he was here. He remembered his uncle beating him real bad, and collapsing at school, and telling the doctor everything.

He wouldn't go back to uncle John would he? Maybe there'd be foster care or some other relative he never heard...

Derek.

Derek was sitting in a chair right next to him, with his head lolling to the side as he slept. Spencer squinted and reopened his eyes after mentally counting to ten.

Hallucinations. That's all this was. The doctor said he had a concussion... do concussions cause hallucinations? Spencer couldn't remember. All he could tell is that Derek Morgan was sitting a chair, close enough for Spencer to reach out and touch if he wanted to.

Not that he did, of course. He hated Derek Morgan right then. Hated him almost as much as he hated Uncle John. He just walked out of his life and abandoned him with some stranger, never even bothering to check on him like he'd promised. Which Spencer wouldn't mind, he was used to being abandoned, except for him _promising _to visit and not he thinks he just come waltzing back to him again and play the hero...

Well, that wasn't going to happen. Just because Derek had some hero complex and liked to try and save Spencer, only being there after everything had happened, never just in time, didn't mean that Spencer was going to fall for it again. He was tired of being left behind.

But still, Spencer couldn't stop staring at him. It seemed so strange that he was there. Close enough to almost touch. A sleeping angel. After so long of holding out, just wondering when Derek was going to come see him, dreaming of his face at night to keep himself sane. He'd given up all hope of seeing him. It was like a death... and now, here he was. Right there.

"Mmgnn," Derek groaned lightly, as he stirred awake. He sat up and stretched his arms above his head, and his back popped.

He rubbed at his eyes and tried to remember where he would be that would make him wake up so stiff and uncomfortably.

Slowly, Derek opened his eyes as they adjusted to the bright light of the hospital...

The hospital! Spencer!

He sat bolt upright, immediately awake. Spencer was sitting up in the hospital bed, silently of course, glaring right at Derek. His arms were crossed over his chest and his face had hostility writ all over it. Derek was suddenly nervous. The idea that Spencer might hate him was ten times scarier than looking down the barrel of their last UnSub's gun.

"Hi, Spencer," he said quietly, after they sat in silence for a while. Spencer's stoicism didn't change at all.

Derek cleared his throat and tried to think of something to say. Somehow _'how's it goin' _didn't seem right, but neither did, _'so, I'm sorry the uncle I left you with was a bastard and that you're now mute, in the hospital, and can't trust anyone, but how about we put that behind us and you can come stay with me. Again.'_

He settled on smiling gently (bitterly) and patting Spencer's leg affectionately. Well, he would've, if Spencer let him. Instead, the boy jerked his leg away from Derek's hand, and, somehow, managed to intensify his glare.

"Sorry," said Derek quietly, lifting his hands in a slight surrender.

They sat in silence for a while longer, Derek trying to think of something new to say and Spencer making his hostile feelings _very _clear without saying a word.

What felt like an eternity to Derek (though it was probably only about ten minutes), a nurse came in to the room. She did some stuff with Spencer's IV and seemed completely oblivious to the tension in the room. She was humming a song under her breath and, once she finished whatever it was that she was doing, handed Spencer a dry-erase bored, a blue Expo marker, and an eraser, "Just in case you want to say something, sweetie."

When she left and had closed the door behind her, Derek looked over at Spencer again.

"I really am sorry, you know," he said again, hoping Spencer understood his meaning. _Sorry about, leaving you, sorry about breaking my promises, sorry that you got dealt such a crappy hand..._

Spencer looked at Derek. _I'm sorry? _He apologized? Like somehow Spencer thought that would mean something. That it would fix everything. _Oh, you're sorry? Well then, I guess I forgive you. _No. Not happening.

Spencer pursed his lips and glanced down at the dry-erase board sitting on his lap. For the first time in a long time, he really had a desire for someone to know what he was saying, but he also wasn't sure if he was ready. He didn't know why, it just felt like giving up.

_Screw giving up, _thought Spencer _I wanna give Derek a piece of mind._

He grabbed the marker and board, angrily pulling the cap off wrote his message as quickly as possible.

_'Sorry doesn't fix it.'_

Derek looked strangely hurt. Like it somehow affected him.

"I know. Trust me, I know, and I wish that somehow, sorry could help," said Derek.

_'Please, please, stop lying,' _Spencer wrote. He was sick of the fake kindness and persuasive words. He wasn't some UnSub to profile and then talk down or someone that was going to be convinced to forgeti everything that this man had done to him.

"Lying?" asked Derek. He almost sounded genuinely confused.

Spencer erased his previous writing on the board and started a new one.

_'I know you don't really want me. You dumped me with my uncle, and that wouldn't have been so bad if you didn't leave with tears and false promises of not really wanting me gone. You must have, else you wouldn't have broken your promise. You SAID you would visit or call or see how I was. You LIED and now you're back and acting like that never happened and you think that I'm too stupid to see past you're lies.' _

"Oh, Spencer," said Derek, sounding all but heartbroken, "You don't really think that, do you?"

_'Why wouldn't I?' _

"What if I told you I _did _try to visit you? I got your uncle's phone number and called a few times and tried to get up there when we had cases in Washington or even Oregon, but I couldn't get a hold of you or your uncle," Derek tried to explain.

Spencer furrowed his eyebrows. _Is he telling the truth? It sounds plausible..._

"And I don't think you're stupid. You're one of the smartest people I've ever met," Derek continued.

Spencer raised an eyebrow skeptically and all but scoffed.

_'How can I be one of the smartest people you know? You don't know me.'_

Derek physically winced at that. He stumbled for words, trying to respond, but couldn't. He hadn't seen Spencer in four years and only knew him for a few months. He didn't know that well. The realization felt like knife to the heart for Derek.

Spencer smirked at Derek and wrote, _'thought so.'_

Derek's face drew in more, looking somehow more hurt than before. Spencer wanted to take joy in the expression. He wanted to revel at his victory, but couldn't. He made himself continue to smirk and look cocky, but inside he felt sick to his stomach.

_Oh, God, _he thought, _I really am awful. I'm a fucking sadistic bastard trying to take joy in Derek's pain and even when I realize I can't, I continue trying to make him think I am. _

Spencer felt the tears well up in his eyes lip began to quiver. He felt the cocksure smirk fall from his face and tilted his face upwards to try and stop the tears from coming. He glanced around the walls and tried to focus on anything but the tears and sadness and pain welling up in him, but he couldn't. They came falling down his face. His shoulders shook violently and his hands quivered.

He felt Derek's arms try and circle him, to comfort him, but Spencer was still too pissed for that. He shoved to older man off him. He just wanted to cry in solitude.

Strange keening noises seemed to be coming from him, scratchy low from misuse. He tried to hold them back, but couldn't.

Derek ran his hands over his bald head in confusion and frustration. He couldn't just watch while Spencer broke down like this, but he couldn't comfort him either.

Finally, as if coming to his rescue, Dr. Terry walked into the room.

He saw Spencer crying and Morgan standing by helplessly.

"Spencer?" he asked gently, not sure how to respond to this situation. "Are you alright?" _Are you alright? _He wanted to smack his head into the wall for that one. Of course he wasn't alright. Stupid question.

Spencer nodded shakily, however the tears continued to fall.

Dr. Terry decided not to push him before he was ready. "Do you mind if I borrow Derek here for a bit?"

Spencer's unsteady hands came up and signed the words, "_Please, take him!" _The doctor's eyes narrowed, both at the unexpected use of ASL and the words.

"Spencer," he said very seriously, "has Derek ever hurt you? Tell me now, before we let you go anywhere with him."

"_No," _he signed again, _"I'm just mad at him." _Dr. Terry almost sighed in relief. That's what he thought was going on, but he needed to be sure. Derek's pain for the child seemed to be too real to fake.

The doctor could see Derek's eyes narrowed in confusion at the exchange. He would tell him in the hall, away from Spencer.

"Come with me, please," he said clinically. Derek started to follow, then stopped, looking back at Spencer.

"It's fine," said Dr. Terry. "Come on."

Derek followed him to the hallway.

"Spencer seems to be doing fine physically," Dr. Terry started when they reached a place that nosy ear's could hear. "As we've already informed you, his injuries are minor and will heal on his own. We also did a CAT scan yesterday while he was in and ran some other tests to check for brain or vocal cord damage. We found none, which brings us to the conclusion that his muteness is purely psychological although given his use of sign language while I was in there today and communication with you through writing, he seems to be willing to communicate again. I'd like to send him to a physical therapist to get him started on using his vocal cords again because they're so out of use."

He paused for a moment to give Derek a chance to ask questions. He said nothing, so the doctor continued.

"I'd also like to keep him for a few days for observation and have him speak with an on-site psychologist before he leaves. I also suggest continuing therapy when he gets back to Virginia with you. And lastly, I have some paperwork for you. This," he said, getting a stack paper from the clipboard he'd been carrying, "is from the hospital about medical records and basically background information. This," he said again, but handing a new stack of papers, "is school records and what not. Just fill them out and go to the school. They'll be able to explain better than I can."

"Thank you," said Derek with a genuine smile.

"Now, do you want to explain to Spencer what's going on, or should I?" the doctor asked.

"He's pretty pissed at me, so you should," said Derek reluctantly.

"Alright," said Dr. Terry, walking back to Spencer room. Derek hoped he was prepared for the fit he knew Spencer would throw when he realized he would have to extend his stay in the hospital _and _talk to a therapist.

**Oh, and if Spencer using Sign Language in there confused anyone, I'd just made the assumption that because Spencer is a genius and can learn things so quickly, he would have picked up on the sign language they'd tried to teach him.  
><strong>


	14. New Beginning

**I got a couple of reviews that were confused at the level of Spencer's anger during the last chapter... This chapter should clear it up. **

Derek was right. Spencer was pissed at having to stay in the hospital, but he'd get over it. For now, he seemed to be doing better. Pissy as hell, but that was to be expected. He had a right to be pissed and Derek couldn't help but feel awful every time he saw the way that his beautiful, shy Spencer had turned into a jaded, angry person at age eleven.

He still wouldn't communicate much, but he would write on his dry erase board and used sign language with the members of the staff who understood it. Derek had an "ASL for Dummies" book that he was trying to figure out, although the signs were difficult to make out on a two dimension plane.

Health wise, though, Spencer was remarkably better. His concussion was no longer a threat and his ribs were healing nicely. The doctor also wanted him to speak with the physical therapist about speech and learn how to 'train' his vocal cords again. He'd gone without speaking for so long now that, even if he wanted to, he probably couldn't physically speak.

He'd "spoken" with an on-site psychologist a couple times and she was ready to talk to Spencer and Derek about future plans and treatment. Spencer wasn't happy having to sit in a room alone with Derek for the period of time while they were waiting for her and Derek was trying not to watch the clock and feel the awkwardness of the moment.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, but was probably only ten or twenty minutes, Dr. Pond came in.

"Hello," she greeted, shaking Derek's hand with a smile and giving Spencer a small wave, which he returned.

"How are you today, Spencer?" she asked. Spencer signed something, then glared at Derek. Derek winced at the intensity of the look and the only word he managed to understand was "so-so."

"Spencer," Dr. Pond said in a somewhat disapproving tone, "we've talked about that." Spencer just rolled his eyes and Dr. Pond decided to move on.

"Anyhow, that's not what we're here to discuss. After observing Spencer's behavior and our meetings, I've diagnosed his with what's called C-PTSD, Complex- Post Traumatic Stress Disorder."

"How is that different from normal PTSD?" asked Derek.

"Well, C-PTSD tends to develop in people that have been in a situation long term and feel like they have no escape, whereas PTSD can occur after something like a car crash. For instance, a soldier coming back from war might suffer PTSD, where a soldier that was held prisoner as a POW might develop C-PTSD," explained Dr. Pond.

"Are the symptoms more severe or just different?" Derek asked again.

"Well, as you know, people with any illness or disorder, especially a psychological one, will suffer from different symptoms per person, but C-PTSD shows all the signs of PTSD, plus some other ones. People with C-PTSD tend to become dissociative and lose control over their emotions easily. They'll also try and blame others around them for the situation they were in. Things like low-self esteem and dependency also appear along with depression, self-loathing, denial, avoidance, fear of abandonment, hyper-vigilance and a whole spiel of other," she explained to Derek. Spencer sitting on the hospital bed looking completely put out with the whole situation.

His behavior could not be explained by some psychological disorder and he was not displaying any of those signs!

He started to sign that to Dr. Pond, but Derek and her weren't looking at him. She was giving him some pamphlet on "C-PTSD" or whatever and pointing things out to pay attention to.

He banged on the wall behind him with his fist until they looked his way, then started to sign again.

_'I'm not acting like any of those things that you just listed and I do not have some fucking disorder-"_

"Language," Dr. Pond scolded. Spencer rolled his eyes.

_'Whatever. I'm perfectly fine. Pissed and hell, but fine. Stop trying to tell me that I feel a certain way because of your psychology. I feel what I feel because that's who I am, not because my uncle touched me in naughty ways.'_

"Why don't you use your whiteboard so Derek can understand what you're saying?" she said, way too calmly

_'Cause I don't want to!' _

"Why?" she asked Spencer.

_'Oh you want me to say something like "I don't want Derek to know what I'm saying because I'm mad at him because he hurt me, so maybe I'm not mad at him" and everything will be better. Maybe I just don't want to use the whiteboard!'_

"You are way too smart for your own good," she said. Spencer smirked. Derek just looked confused.

_'So, you'll admit I don't have C-PTSD?'_

"I didn't say that, Spencer. In fact, denial is a major symptom also, so this just solidifies me suspicion. The smirk fell off of Spencer's face.

Derek, who was having trouble understanding the conversation beyond that Spencer didn't think he had C-PTSD, decided to change the subject.

"So, what do we do?"

He saw Spencer start to wildly sign something with his hands, but Dr. Pond went on like she didn't see him.

"Well, removing him from his uncle and having him stay with you is huge step in that way already. I'll prescribe an anti-depressant and I'd highly suggest therapy when you get home. I can send a list of people that I would recommend, and after a few sessions with her, we'll decide what's best for Spencer," she responded. "But don't let that sound too simple. This is going to be an inevitably long and hard journey."

At this point, Spencer had stopped signing and pulled out his dry-erase board.

_'I don't need drugs and I don't need a therapist! What I need is to leave this damn hospital!' _

"Language," Morgan and Dr. Pond scolded simultaneously.

Spencer "hmphed" and crossed his arms. Dr. Pond said her good-byes and left Derek and Spencer to themselves. Spencer fell asleep soon after she left and Derek watched the anger and hostility fade off his face in sleep only to be replaced with hurt and innocence.

"Ready to get out of here, kid?"

Spencer looked up at his guardian in disdain. He started to write on the whiteboard resting on his lap while he was in the wheelchair, but Derek corrected him.

"Spencer," he said knowingly, with a raised eyebrow. Spencer grimaced. His speech-therapist wanted him to start speaking aloud to people and get used to speech in everyday settings.

"Y-y-esss," he finally managed to stutter in a scratchy, underused voice.

"Let's blow this popsicle stand then," Derek said with a smile. He started walking and the nurse pushing Spencer's wheelchair followed.

Spencer stood up and hopped in the back seat of Derek's SUV and Derek put Spencer's meager belongings in the trunk next to his go-bag.

The drive to the airport was extraordinarily awkward. Over the past week, Spencer had grown more used to and a little less hostile than Derek, but he was still extremely hurt and trying to use his anger to cover it. Derek knew this, yet he can't help but feel hurt at Spencer's accusations. He blames himself also.

They finally arrived at the airport though, and once they boarded the plane, Derek felt better. He just had to survive back to Quantico, and everything could be okay. Small steps.


	15. Home

**So, uh, it's been almost 2 years since I've updated... *winces* I'm really sorry about that... there've been a lot of reasons and excuses for my absence, however nothing that can excuse almost 2 years. So, if there is anyone out here still interested in my little story, here you go. I hope you can still enjoy it :)**

The plane landed in DC and Derek just had to drive 30 minutes to get to his house on the outskirts of Quantico. Spencer remained silent, just staring out the window with a book on his lap, like he was going to read, but kept getting distracted by the scenery, throughout the whole drive, but Derek noticed his relaxed posture and the way his eyes seemed to light up for the first time as they got closer to his house and Spencer began to recognize the area.

Derek smiled. Maybe Spencer could really start to get better once he was home. He certainly seemed more comfortable here than he did anywhere else. Spencer watched the landscape around him for awhile, before looking down at the book he'd been reading and returning to it. Derek mentally reminded himself to enroll Spencer in school. And to enroll him in school he'd need to get in IQ tested and have some level tests done to see what grade he needs to be in...

_'And his room. I hope it's okay. I think I still have a bed up in his old room... and food! I need to go grocery shopping for things Spencer would eat. Well, shit,' _Derek thought, _'I'm not quite a prepared as I thought I was.'_

Derek started mentally freaking out, before making himself take a calming breath and chill out. Everything was going to be okay. Spencer was coming back to the safe home he belonged at, he was going to get the right education, and everything would work out for the best. He just had to keep being positive enough for the both of them for now. Spencer was going through enough that he didn't need any hopelessness from Derek making it any worse

"So, buddy," Derek asked, breaking the silence. Spencer looked up irritably from his book. "What do you want to do when we get home?"

Spencer shrugged. The flight had been a rather early one and, while 5 hours on a plane felt like a really freaking long time, there was still a lot of day left.

"Well, I was thinking we could just spend today at the house, resting, maybe go out to dinner with the team if you're feeling up to it, and then tomorrow we can go shopping for clothes and anything else we need to get you," he said. "That sound okay?"

"I don't need new clothes," Spencer whispered in his scratchy voice.

"Well, I'd like to get you some anyways," Derek said gently. Spencer might deny his need of new clothes, but Derek had seen the things he had from his uncle's house. There were some nice things, but for the most part it was all baggy or too small or torn up. He needed new clothes the way a man dying of thirst needed a cup of water.

Spencer shrugged apathetically and went back to reading his book.

Derek didn't say anything the rest of the drive, letting Spencer read his book in silence. Derek sighed happily as he pulled into his driveway, ready to be able to stand up and stretch.

"We're finally home, buddy," Derek said, stretching his arms up and cracking his back as he stood up out of the car, then winced at the sound. "Hate that sound," he said with a light smile.

"It comes from Oxygen, Carbon Dioxide, and Nitrogen in the synovial fluid that keeps your joints lubricated. When you stretch the join capsule they escape and form bubbles which make the cracking sound," Spencer told him, quietly.

Derek was surprised at the sudden words, but tried not to show it. "Really?" he asked. He'd heard something like that before, but wanted to try and get Spencer to speak more. "That's really interesting." Spencer just shrugged it off and looked up at the house, then grinned. Derek could see the boy trying to repress the smile, but failed at it and it made Derek beyond happy to see Spence so happy.

He'd always thought the idea that making someone else happy was the best way to make yourself happy was ridiculous. Derek didn't like getting close enough to people that he would feel dependent on their happiness for his own, but he knew that he would kill if only to make Spencer look happy again. There was next to nothing he wouldn't do for that child.

Derek grabbed Spencer's bags out of the trunk, along with own go-bag so that he could wash the clothes in it, and took them inside. He dropped his bag by the front door, but took Spencer's stuff up to the room he'd slept in before. Thank god he'd left the room alone. It still had a full-matress and a comforter, but after 4 years Derek knew it was time to change the sheets. He stripped the bed down, throwing the old sheets in the laundry bin and grabbed a new set from the linen closet. He winced as he put the sheets on the bed, realizing how boring and old the room looked. They'd need to redecorate it however Spencer wanted at some point...

Derek added that to his ever-growing list of things that needed to be done. He spent very little time at home, but Derek knew that was going to have to change soon. He supposed Spencer could stay with Garcia while he went on cases, but there were some cases that needed Garcia there. He decided that that was something to worry about later. Right now, he was home with Spencer and that was amazing in and of itself.

"So, kid," said Derek, "are you tired?" Spencer looked dead on his feet. Derek knew that any answer but 'hell yeah' was going to be a lie.

Spencer nodded.

"Why don't you go up to your room and nap, okay?" Derek said. "You look like you could use it."

It was a testament to how honestly exhausted he was that Spencer went upstairs without a word to sleep.

Derek sat down on the couch when Spencer was gone and suddenly wanted the boy back where he would be able to see and take care of him. It made him nervous for him to be even a little bit out of his sight, but Derek took a deep breath and told himself that he needed to get over that right now. He wouldn't be able to watch Spencer all the time and that, frankly, Spencer would probably want a lot of privacy right now.

He sat for a moment, before remembering to call the team and tell them he was home. He pulled out his phone and called Garcia first. Her reaction was as expected. Tears, jokes, laughter... basically a large, dizzying flurry of emotions. Which was basically Garcia 24/7. Then Hotch. After Hotch was JJ, then Rossi.

Morgan yawned, thinking that he could use a nap also, but made himself stay awake and looked up the nearest elementary school. He called the number he found.

"Hello, FD Roosevelt Elementary," a voice said from the other end said.

"Oh, hello, my name Agent Derek Morgan," he said, adding the agent on so hopefully things would move along with more speed than these things did most of the time, "and I need to fine out what I need to do to enroll my, uh, son," he said, unsure how to refer to Spencer. "Well, I'm his legal guardian but there's no actual blood relationship. But, he has some, uh, special needs I guess."

"Well, I can get you speaking with the Special Education department-" she said.

"No, not like that," Morgan said, interrupting her. "He's extremely intelligent. His doctor and everyone else that know him says he needs to have his IQ tested because he's probably a genius."

"We can give him some screening tests to see what grade level he's at," the woman said.

"That would be great," Derek replied. "When should I bring him up?"

"Well, it'll take a little while to get everything set up," the woman said. "But, if you give me your contact information I'll be sure to call you back Agent Morgan."

Derek gave her his information, said thank you, and hung up. He decided to take a short nap, setting his phone alarm for 30 minutes away so he wouldn't sleep too long. He didn't want Spencer to wake up if he was asleep.

Everything seemed a lot better at the moment, though.

**I'm really sorry about the wait again. I know this chapter kinda sucked, but I wrote it in under an hour just to have something to upload. **

**Please, leave a review though :D They're always greatly appreciated :D**


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